Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
When dolphins fly,
When nuns wear heels,
When lakes go dry. . .
Then Stanton steals!
When box scores lie,
When kings cut deals,
When fans ask, “Why?”
Then Stanton steals!
When Royals cry,
“He has no wheels.”
It’s time to try. . .
And Stanton steals!
Originally posted on the indispensable Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is…caught.
Bobby Witt
Sure knows how to hit:
Finished July hitting .489 for the month
As good as Lou Gehrig (1930) did onth.
Cole Ragans
Believes that pagans
Get a bad rap in the papers
And also happen to be great landscapers.
Josh Naylor
Has a great tailor
Who crafts slacks for travel
That don’t unravel.
Isaac Paredes
Loves eating spiedies,
Burgoo, tamales, chislic, etouffee–
All the regional dishes of the USA.
Carlos Correa
Has nary a
Bad word to say
About the films and good works of Danny Kaye.
Tarik Skubal
Is always hungry for noodles.
Chow mein, soba, udon, ramen–
He just tells the waiter, “Keep it comin’!”
Garrett Crochet
Thinks those edible bouquets
Are a colossal waste.
“How much cantaloupe can one person taste?”
Seth Lugo
Reads a lot of Victor Hugo
Daydreaming of an understudy job
With “Les Misérables.”
Shōta Imanaga
Loves the generosity of Chicaga.
He never has to scrounge
To pay for a beer at the Nisei Lounge.
We salute a skipper named Whitey
Who plugged in Vince and Willie and Ozzie
He saw defense and speed
Were St. Louis’ need
‘Twas Whiteyball made Whitey quite mighty.
“I came here in last place and I leave here in last place. I left them right where I started.” RIP to the White Rat.