Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

AL East
Boston
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no

Tampa
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine

Baltimore
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell

New York
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?

Toronto
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse

AL West
Oakland
Cespedes homers
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn!  Who ARE these guys?

Texas
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch

Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?

Seattle
In obscurity
They perform for loyal fans
Wait!  Ichiro’s where?

Houston
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago

AL Central
Detroit
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!

Cleveland
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss

Kansas City
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout

Minnesota
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit

Chicago
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up!  Git up!  Stretch!

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

2013 AL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO
No Sale, no pennant?
Can Beckham bend it foreward?
Is Konerko Dunn?

CLEVELAND
Re-seeding is hard.
Big contracts are easier.
80-82.

DETROIT
No closer, no stress?
Just win every game by five!
(Time for a Zantac.)

KANSAS CITY
The Wil to win “soon”
Has been supplanted by the
Will to win today.

MINNESOTA
Ten thousand lakes teem
With tears from ticket-holding
Twin fan Targetees.

The Ballad of Scott Podsednik (Sung to “I’m Movin’ On”)

By Joyce Heiser

Came out of high school, stayed in Texas awhile
Seems he just couldn’t make it all seem worthwhile
He’s movin’ on. He’s movin’ on.
Rangers said “So long son, go enjoy the sun”
He’s Marlin gone.

Minor leagues kept trading, kept cutting him loose
Never was the engine, just a little caboose
Seven years rolled on, they just moved on.
Finally majored a run in 2000 and 1
Would they keep him on?

Another year came and another deal too,
Milwaukee got him in 2002,
He still moved on, he was there and gone.
Led the league in base steals, tried to keep it real,
But they moved him on.

Chicago was home for a few good years
Got a World Series ring, a girl with bunny ears,
He’s carryin’ on, maybe he’ll stay on.
But another year came, and another ball game,
He packed and was gone.

Up in the mountains, till 2009,
Back to bat that year in the White Sox line,
Another movin’ on, another hometown gone.
Even though he had fans, Chicago had other plans
And they let him move on.

One year with the Royals, still stealing some base,
Let him go to the Dodgers, problems slowing his pace.
Trouble movin’ on, released and on his own.
Try up North, play the West, half-a-year at best
So he’s movin’ on.

Finally landed in Philly, more like Lackawanna
Scranton doesn’t really sound like baseball nirvana.
Will he be movin’ on?  Sing that travelin’ song?
Thirteen teams, eighteen years, Hard to change your gears
And keep movin’ on.

 

2012 AL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
With the mouth gone to
Sunnier climes, will the Sox
Be hung out to dry?

CLEVELAND INDIANS
“Is Grady injured?”
“Was there a Tuesday last week?”
Michael Brantley’s glad.

DETROIT TIGERS
27 games
Before Brandon Inge returns
To reclaim third base.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Those young hitters can’t
Overpower the smell of
Five pieces of meat.

MINNESOTA TWINS
Such a nice ballpark
And such nice people watching
Their nice, boring team.

Kansas City, Here I Go

by Edmund Conti

It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
As the balls went flying by
They go right by the fielders
I’m sure I don’t know why.

It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
The ball takes funny hops
The hitters all are in the zone
The inning never stops.

It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
The manager agreed
Let’s keep him in the game some more
I’m sure he will succeed.
.