Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
As the balls went flying by
They go right by the fielders
I’m sure I don’t know why.
It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
The ball takes funny hops
The hitters all are in the zone
The inning never stops.
It’s a funny game, Mazzaro said
The manager agreed
Let’s keep him in the game some more
I’m sure he will succeed.
.
How many chances will Melky get
To try and make us forget?
Once a prospect,
Now he’s not.
As leadoff man,
He ain’t so hot.
Where’s the power he used to show?
Where’s the speed?
Why can’t he throw?
K.C. may be the last stop.
When will the penny drop?
By Stuart Shea
CHICAGO WHITE SOX
Will Morel mushroom
into a good third baseman
Or just become waste?
CLEVELAND INDIANS
Um…Jack Hannanan?
In the lineup? At third base?
It’s not April 1.
DETROIT TIGERS
The Tigers, a team
of 25 question marks.
A growl? A meow?
KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Ending up with Jeff
Francoeur…that’s a real bad day
At the rummage sale.
MINNESOTA TWINS
If he keeps winning,
Carl Pavano can look like
A porn star all year.
By Gary Gillette
In honor of broadcaster Mario Impemba who, during the April 12 Tigers broadcast, talked about how Royals skipper Trey Hillman had managed the “Ham Fighters”…
.
Nippon Ham Fighters!
WTF? Americans
Fear Pugnacious Pork.
.
Posted 4/29/10
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
A Putz in the ‘pen,
Another in the dugout,
Not just birds Twitter.
.
INDIANS
No more wedge issues.
It’s time to see just how good
This ballclub can be.
.
TIGERS
A brand new springtime?
Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
This is your autumn.
.
ROYALS
Inevitable
As tulips and tree pollen,
95 losses.
.
TWINS
Mauer power is
Ensured for many more moons
In the new playpen.
Posted 4/11/2009