Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
White Sox
Eaton, a Danish,
And fans hungry for more than
Just a few churros
Indians
Can we just bury
That nickname somewhere out by
Bad Knee ligament?
Tigers
‘15 may see a
Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright—
If Verlander’s back
Royals
Sudden royalty
Must beware of slipping back
Toward the commoners
Twins
Hometown hero Paul
Will learn that spring is full of hope
And buds that don’t bloom
How ironic first Series replay
Reversed turns game with double play,
. For three decades ago,
. Royals won when it ain’t so,
Now Don Denkinger’s gift they repay.
Eric Hosmer’s modified mullet
MadBum casually firing bullets
Superfans from South Korea
The panicked look on Kelvin Herrera
Phantom sighting of the Freak
Plugging Aoki’s defensive leak
Peavy shelled like the Hellespont
Escobar laying down a bunt???
Joe Buck opining from his tuchus
Of redoubtable Mike Moustakas
Gordon’s single to the wall
Cool-as-horchata Sandoval
What the hell is Ned Yost thinking?
I’ll have whatever Pence is drinking
Crawford gobbles up ground balls
Bochy weeps, and Affeldt bawls
Young Joe Panik, Dyson, Cain…
Can we please do it all again?
The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.
Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.
Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.
Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.
A hit off of Bum that was erred
but Gordon was stopped there at third.
.  To home was not steered
.  Was “Posey Rule” feared?
A Shot ‘Round the World now unheard.