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Twins Persistence

by James Finn Garner

No matter how many times they’re whacked,

Those pesky Twins keep coming back.

 

Like a dose of clap on your wedding day,

Those lousy Twins won’t stay away.

 

Like a yappy dog or a Ringling clown,

Those stinking Twins won’t lay down.

 

In another division, I’d admire their pluck,

But as a Tiger and Sox fan, it looks like I’m stuck

 

Watching them ruthlessly turning their tricks

Like a mad masked killer in a teen slasher flick.

 

Like a zombie army or Ted Williams’ head,

Those #$%@!!  Twins just won’t stay dead.

Posted 10/5/2009

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Tiger, er … Twins Fan

by Mike Galer

The Tigers play so poorly no one complains.
Twins are so good.
My son starts cheering for Twins.
Knows all the players by name.

His love of Minnesota grows to Gophers and Vikings.
The years go by in a flash.
We smile and chuckle and a rivalry is born.
Detroit can’t win, I am forlorn.

My wife plans a trip to the Mall and 10,000 lakes.
On a whim I buy tickets to a game, for heaven sakes.
We go to the dome, it is 97o outside.
Tigers are winning, only I am cheering.

In the eighth Bonderman unravels.
My son turns to me and says, “This was the greatest of travels,”
“The time of my life,” he says with a smile.
I’ve done something right at least this day.

The Tigers lose on cue to make it complete.
Fans are cheering, I stay in my seat.
As an added bonus, kids run the bases.
My wife chortles, “I’m going too!” as she tightens her laces.

We record the day in film and snapshots,
Walk to the subway, eat ice cream with dots.
A few years have passed and the memories are mine,
When Minnesota beat Detroit was just fine.

.

Posted 10/2/2009

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Twin Killing

By Stuart Shea

When they finally knock down the Metrodome,
And the Twins move to their new outdoor home,
Will fielders lose balls in the sun and goof,
The way they did in the Teflon roof?

Published 7/22/09

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A Twins Fan Meditates on the ’09 Twins-Yanks Season Series

By Kevin Hennessy

Four-game sweep at New Yankee Stadium
With two less walkoffs, we could have took two of ‘em;
Then swept three games at home in the dome
Maybe next year outside we might manage to win one.

A-Rod, Jeter, Teixiera, Cano
They all make it tough, no denying, I know.
But Cabrera, Gardner, Cervelli, and Coke–
Are these really Yankees, or regular blokes?

Gardenhire insists
There’s no mental angle,
But if that truly is so
Couldn’t one win be finagled?

Perhaps those Bronx Bombers inspire intimidation
And Mauer and Morneau alone can’t deny them
Losing all seven certainly wasn’t too great
But at least we can be grateful we aren’t playing eight.

Published 7/12/09

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Yankees: Minnesota, May You Always Play Against Us

by Hart Seely

Justin Morneau, Denard Span,
Each of them, a special man.
Jason Kubel, Jason Pride,
Promising a pleasant ride.

Michael Cuddyer, Joe Mauer,
Every game, a happy hour.
Carlos Gomez, Jesse Crain,
I would play them all again!

R.A. Dickey, old Joe Crede,
Yielding to us, if we’re needy.
Minnesota! Humphrey Dome!
‘Neath thy roof, we feel at home.

Published 7/10/09

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.