Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The snowy hair
The doleful stare
The mangled speech
The subtle preach
The dubious start
The gentle heart
The hook that stings
Three Series rings
The postgame pipe
The misplaced hype
Shaggy dog stories
Humble glories
A light gone dark
We’ll miss you, Spark
Before thy vic’try p’rades begin,
With Sterling’d tongue and Suzyn’d spin,
Be gone, olde curd! Ye shalt not sin!
One gaem doth not thy playoffs win!
Let no grand pride swell deep within
Thy supple breast, thy pinstripe’d skin,
Let nay among ye boast to Twin!
One gaem doth not thy playoffs win!
Do not thy winner’s hanky wave,
Scout not the Philly, G’int or Brave.
These brutish Twins we’ve yet to stave.
One gaem doth not Octobre save!
This poem was pilfered from Hart’s Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is …. Caught.
Counting: 15 out of 16 years past
to Yankee playoff possibility:
Pirates? Padres? The Indians, e.g.?
(the list of small- & medium-market
teams is as long as owners’ ledgers)
a dis-service to their fans:
So don’t argue:
That your team owners may be committed
to money to profit not to bases counted
or games won: to profit sharing:
& so much for quality & parity
Some teams are designed to contend
others merely to make money
Oh Nancy, for over 40 summers
You’ve brought music and joy to Chisox fans,
Fingers tripping lightly o’er the keyboard,
Perched in the midst of the Comiskey stands.
So many ballparks used canned music now,
With no more soul than an iPod Shuffle.
Dear Nancy, you’re the sweetheart of the park–
Forgive us if we fight back a sniffle.
Thank you for the Mexican Hat Dance,
A Randy Newman song, a Broadway tune.
Thanks for keeping us all singing along
When the team was 20 games out in June.
Like with hot dogs, beer vendors and popcorn,
Games aren’t complete without your sweet refrains.
This isn’t “Na-Na, Hey-Hey, Goodbye”, it’s
“Auf Wiedersehn”, Nancy, and “Danke Schoen”.
Aubrey Huff,
No powder puff
Flat on his duff.
He has the stuff,
This Aubrey Huff.
“When times are tough,”
Says Aubrey Huff,
“I don’t get gruff.
I huff and puff.
“I’m pretty tough.
I’m Aubrey Huff!”
Posted 9/27/10