Cross-Town Rivalry

by Sheila Bernstein

A tattered scorecard,
A pennant,
An autograph or two.
For most kids that will do as a souvenir from a day at the game.
A double-header; what could be better?

This kid, two to three times the age of your average player, never had a
prayer that she would return home with such a treasure.

It was a foul ball up into the stands.
Grown men ducked, children raised their mitts aloft, but it was I who caught
the ball.

The crowd gave a cheer!

And this kid went home with her souvenir in her purse, and the Cubs beat the
Sox, so what could be worse?

The South against the North.
Oh, how that ball did soar
At this modern-day civil war.

Posted 10/9/07 

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

by Sandy Marshall

What’s your favorite food?
What’s your favorite color?
Who’s your favorite player?
Mine’s Tommy Herr.

Who’s from Pennsylvania?
Who likes to play Second?
Who’s an All Star?
I bet it’s Tom Herr.

Who passed the torch?
The pro baseball torch?
Following footsteps…
His Dad is Tom Herr.

Who’s a Cardinal, Met, Twin,
And a Philly for sure?
Who’s the Giant of All?
You know it’s Tom Herr!

Posted 9/21/07 

Viva Bazardo!

by James Finn Garner

Let’s give up a cheer for Yorman Bazardo!
He got his first win, didn’t make it look hard-o!
Let the shouts ring out in the Tigers’ ballyard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!

Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!
Just try staying glum while yelling “Bazardo!”
It’s more fun than sex in a trough full of lard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! God help me !! Bazardo !!

Posted 9/17/07 

1983 Minnesota Twins Poem

by Justin Kaufmann

(clearing throat) Hello. I would like to read a poem entitled “Today, your 1983 Minnesota Twins starting line-up is….”

(adjusting mic, deep breath)

“Ron Washington
Tim Teufel
Gary Gaetti
Kent Hrbek
Rusty Kuntz
Jim Eisenreich
Mickey Hatcher
Tom Brunansky
Tim Laudner
and Brad Havens.”

Thank you. (huge applause, no snapping)

(Justin’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)

Posted 9/4/2007

The Mighty Big Klu

by Caleb Wiley

Big Klu and his guns struck fear
In opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His biceps were frightening indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

Posted 8/21/2007