Posted on

This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.

 

Posted on

Another Sub-.500 Year

By James Callan

The crack of the bat is more addicting than crack
or crackerjacks, for that matter,
as the batter cracks a jack
into the third deck, oh heck!
It clips the end of my glove,
my beer, obliterated on the big screen above.
While down on the diamond, bat flip, mad pride,
silver or gold bobbing with the swag of each stride
as some Bronx Bomber rounds the bases,
all those loud, elated New York faces.
And me, in my Twins hat
wishing just once that
1991 would come again,
Homer Hanky, Minnesota zen.
Me, still thinking about Chili Davis, Kirby Puckett.
Another sub-500 year; you know what? Fuck it.

James Callan grew up in Minneapolis. He lives on the Kāpiti Coast, New Zealand and is more than likely the biggest Twins baseball fan in the country. He lives on a small farm with his wife Rachel and his little boy Finn.

 

Posted on

Impact

by Michael Ceraolo

Herb Score

No tragedy here,
just one of those unfortunate incidents
that are sometimes part of the game:
Gil’s line drive didn’t end my career,
though I was out for the rest of the season;
it was arm trouble that did me in
And if I hadn’t been a player
I never would have become a broadcaster
I have to thank Bob Neal,
my first broadcast partner;
he never made me look bad
while I was learning on the job,
and I had a steep learning curve

Gil McDougald

I’m glad Herb doesn’t blame me;
I couldn’t have continued if he did,
or if that had ended his career
I think it did affect me;
I wasn’t as good a hitter afterward
A few years later I heard rumors
the Yankees were going to leave me unprotected
in the upcoming expansion draft,
so I said I would retire
rather than go to another teams
Yankee management feared this was a threat
to their absolute control and said so publicly
I think they were greatly surprised
when I stayed retired