Baseball Parity, Chicago Parody

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

Had the Dodgers
Lost just one more game,
This sub-600 season woulda been lame.

The winning percentage
Of most every other team,
Was surely a parity-lover’s dream.

Leaving aside the Angels, Marlins, Rockies,
And the historically bad White Sox,
All the other ballclubs had their shots.

Within sniffing distance of the wild card,
A couple of wins here and there
Woulda given your team a playoff share.

If the Mets and Tigers coulda
Advanced to the second round,
My Cubbies, too, shoulda stuck around.

Yeah, there may be MLB pair-a-tee,
But as Steve Goodman’s Dying Cubs Fans know
They still play the blues in Chi-ca-go.

Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play on the Red Line sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.

Two Lims for the Tiger Battery

by James Finn Garner

After Skubal slaps, shouts and shoves,
Hinch’s lineup card says “Any of the above.”
Starters, middle, bullpen?
“Pitching chaos” is in
A squad cardiac doctors can love.

Catching young Tiger pitchers, ol’ Jake
Rogers knows what each at-bat takes.
Low and out, high and in
He has learned what will win
When he calls for a pitch, please don’t shake.

Nap Lajoie

by Michael Ceraolo

I once was quoted as saying
no one gives you anything in baseball,
but that isn’t correct
Morgan Murphy gave me and other Phillies many hits
when he stole signs from the stands
and relayed them to a coacher through a buzzer system,
and the coacher then relayed them to us
And the St. Louis Browns gave me half-a-dozen bunt hits
during a doubleheader to end the 1901 season,
enabling me to win the batting title and a car
I took those gifts without apology,
though I often wished that the Browns
would have given us the ’08 pennant instead