The Agony of the Agate

by Michael X. Ferraro

Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.

Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!

Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)

Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.

Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.

Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.

One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?

Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.

From Verse to Worse

by Susan Petrone

Friday’s game against the Twins was one I really hoped we’d win
I figured it  might be a fight. The Twins aren’t great, but they don’t bite.

Of course the question from word go was which Ubaldo J. would show.
The guy with the electric slider, or the one who makes you drink hard cider?

Top of one, bases full, no outs; it looked like it would be  a rout.
Struck out the side, never fear–the Good Ubaldo J. was here!

Ten big strikeouts, holy crap!  Too bad the offense took a nap.
The score read four walks, six hits, and one stinking run to show for it.

Final score was five to one. This is not what you’d call fun.
At losing we are quite adroit, unlike those guys up in Detroit.

Tigers won, so did the Rays. I hope the Orioles beat the A’s.
If it isn’t too pretentious, check the odds at Baseball Prospectus.

We may yet play into October, (yes, THIS October and yes, I’m sober).
Thus I’ll wait to drown my sorrows. Let’s see if they win tomorrow.

 

Susan Petrone blogs about the Tribe at the site, It’s Pronounced Lajaway.

Ode to a Bad Bengal Batsman

by Millie Bovich

At bat there is none to compara
To our Tiger named Miggie Cabrera
.      His homers go far
.      One clipped a low star
And one bounced the sands of Sahara!

 

Impermanence

By James Finn Garner

The cosmos is f’rever expanding
The sun in its course never wavers
In Giza, the pyramid’s still standing
But Paul Konerko’s put on waivers.

DaVinci’s genius is enduring
Mozart’s work all cultures savor
After years, Garbo is still alluring
But Paul Konerko’s put on waivers.

The planet spinning on its axis
A schoolyard full of little shavers
Some things last, like death and taxes,
Yet Paul Konerko’s put on waivers.