Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Chris Perez and his old lady
Were caught last week in something shady.
The closer, FedEx at the door,
Welcomed a surprising score.
To give himself some legal cover,
The genius had it mailed to Rover.
Does he think one must be baked
To pitch in the Mistake by the Lake?
If Chris wants to invest in stalks, he
Might finagle a trade to the Rockies.
O, when will the White Sox start scoring?
It seems that home plate they’re ignoring
.     O please get a hit
.     and score just a bit
Heck, even the Cubs are less boring
In addition to penning doggerel, Jim Siergey is an award-winning illustrator and the creator of Cultural Jet Lag.
After two months of play and a carload of flubs,
Could the Sox really be just as bad as the Cubs?
It’s asked in Gage Park and Beverly pubs–
Could the Sox really be just as bad as the Cubs?
The starters are struggling; don’t speak of the subs!
Could the Sox really be just as bad as the Cubs?
It’s a long way to go to rate down with the scrubs,
But the Sox seem to be just as bad as the Cubs.
Both squads ranking under the mark of most clubs,
The Sox may end up just as bad as the Cubs.
It rankles a South Sider more than the nubs–
That the Sox really could be as bad as the Cubs.
I know our mortal trial’s done
Eternal judgment just beginning
When Verlander walks in two runs
And gives up seven in one inning.
He’s back! When I saw him, I squinted.
Is that silly beard really half-tinted?
.    ‘Twas a lift that he gave
.     Nailing down his first save,
And potential new doggerel minted!