Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Last season the Hose were quite pale
with Rios and Dunn batting Braille
But this summer held first
’til their bubble then burst
With not enough wind in their Sale.
Cartoonist Jim Siergey is the author of the strip “Cultural Jet-Lag” and the alt-reality Cubbie book, If They Did It.
The hitter for our era
Triple Crown Miguel Cabrera
Texas falls to wild card
From A’s maulers going yard
Yankees claim at last the East
Atlanta goes to best from least
All the pieces now in place
For the annual October race
But my joy is kept in check
Hearing of Pat Neshek
Whose baby boy Gehrig passed on
Amidst all the celebrations
We cheer as one
But grieve alone
November comes
And we are gone
So now’s the time all knew would come
The Sox will spend the autumn home
No pennant raised above the park
Attendance far below the mark
Even in a shit division
The batters need to hit a smidgen
Pitchers likewise should abstain
From tossing taters to start each game
Chicago now sports a perfect twosome
Cubs abysmal, White Sox gruesome
All will be forgiven
If we keep on livin’
Oh, 5 thru 9 please get on base
I’m not lyin’
I’ve been cryin’
When you’re up to bat in your place
The hittin’ coach is at fault, the nerve!
He never taught you to hit the curve.
Oh, 5 thru 9 you can ding their ace.
You could really help down the stretch
Maybe it’s Roy’s “Wonderboy” you could fetch
Oh, 5 thru 9 join the chase
Only 10 games remain
All year you have driven me insane
Oh, 5 thru 9 please help us win the race
Among Omar Infante’s dislikes
Must be incoming baserunners – Yikes!
To dodge getting maimed
Cost the Bengals the game —
One of inches, and feet wearing spikes.