Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau
Had miserable seasons, and so
.   The Twins are now heading
.   Into future rough sledding
In the land of the ice and the snow.
With the news this week of R.E.M’s final retirement, we present a song from The Baseball Project, a labor of love from R.E.M. member Peter Buck and session man Steve Wynn:
For more on The Baseball Project, visit their website.
There’s a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there’s ball, for the freeze they prepare
.   In Chicago the fans
.   make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair
Ozzie and Kenny fighting at the Cell
(Throw Greg Walker in as well)
First come shouts,
Then comes snarling,
Then comes Ozzie (finally!) moving to the Marlins.