The Bookkeepers Talk Baseball

by Jim Daniels

Betsy says a friend of hers
went to high school with Kirk Gibson
and that he was stuck up even then.

Debbie says Frank is taking her
to one of those things
where they play two games in one day.
What’s it called, a double bubble?
She makes a face: I can hardly stand one game
much less two.

Jack, the burly security guard says
it’s too damn boring. Everybody
standing around picking their asses.

I sit at my desk
flipping through accounts, pulling overdrafts.
My ass squirms in padded comfort
longing for the bleacher’s hard bench.

Arnold says he likes it better
on tv. Why go to the ballpark,
he asks, and deal with the traffic
and the crowds?

Better on tv?
Get yer red hots heah!
Coke! Iiiiiiice Cooooold Coke!
Crack of bat on ball. Smell
of stale cigars and spilled beer.
Seventh inning stretch.
Cold beer in the sun.

Cold beer in the sun.
I bang my seat
to start up a rally.

Jim Daniels is the Thomas Stockham Baker Professor of English at Carnegie Mellon University.  His newest story collection, TRIGGER MAN: More Tales of the Motor City, is now available, and can be ordered from Amazon here.

Choice Cuts

by Jim Siergey

The choice is A. Dunn or A. Rios
Which one of them hurt the Sox the most?
.    This year they both stank
.    but one broke the bank
So, Alex, it’s Vaya con Dios

600 Dingers for Jim Thome

by James Finn Garner

600 dingers for Big Jim Thome!
Hit without juicing but only
Muscle and heart
And a jaw
That could flatten John McGraw.
Our own version of the Mighty Casey
Whom  dads can point to
And tell their kids in awe,
“That, my darlings, THAT is a slugger!”

Comerica Park, August 21, 2011

By Stuart Shea

The Cleveland Indians, fighting for life,
Rallied with bloopers and darts.
But Austin Jackson fired a BB
Into the Indians’ hearts.

They trailed by seven, but came back strong,
Those Tribesmen played their parts!
But Austin Jackson fired a BB
Into the Indians’ hearts.

The tying run is on third with one out–
On a fly ball, the runner starts!
But Austin Jackson fired a BB
Into the Indians’ hearts.

STAT, ASAP

by Jim Siergey

The man with initials A.D.
The Sox signed for many a G.
.    Unfortunately,
.    They did not foresee
He’s ready for A.A.R.P.