Good-Bye, Ozzie

By Stu Shea

Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.

Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.

No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.

Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.

Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.

A Long Winter in Twinkie Town

by James Finn Garner

Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau
Had miserable seasons, and so
.    The Twins are now heading
.    Into future rough sledding
In the land of the ice and the snow.