Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Pete Alonso
In the HR Derby goes gonzo
But he’d never stoop to flay
A beat reporter from Newsday.
Yusmani Grandal
Thinks the Rock N Roll Hall
Of Fame lacks any substance,
But he still wants to see George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” pants.
Tommy LaStella
Is just a reg’lar fella
Who’d gladly have a beer and a bump
In any Ohio low-rent dump.
Mookie Betts
Likes to bring his pets–
Some anoles and a cane toad–
With him on the road.
Fifty runs, two games
London saw baseball physics
Newton was impressed
Giancarlo came up and we cheered ourselves hoarse,
He’d break every record as a matter of course.
He huffed and he puffed and he swung like hell
And the next thing we know he’s back on the DL!
Singin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
But for this game I am too strong
And I gotta be driftin’ along.
The Red Sox were wobbling they were ready to go,
Giancarlo said, “I’ll win it with one mighty blow.
I’ll give it a ride, you should have no fear”—
And the next thing we know we’re done for the year!
Sayin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
I gotta get back to the weight room now
But wait’ll next year, I’ll show ya and how!
Well, he swung the bat and he blew out his shoulder,
He slid into the bag and he rolled his knee over.
It’s a good thing he can’t play the field much, perhaps,
For if he caught a ball he might just collapse.
Singin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
The balls he hits, they sail far out of sight,
But as he circles the bags, his hammies get tight.
His body is just like a well-oiled machine—
After it’s been tenderized with a ball-peen.
He’s got biceps of iron and abs of steel
But he just can’t stay on the darned field!
Sayin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
We’re off to London to play for the queen,
And we hope while we’re gone you won’t rupture your spleen!
Reprinted from the essential Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught.
The Yankees and Red Sox
Are sharing a game with the Brits
On June 29th and 30th.
Will it be a Boston Tea Party,
In reverse, or a Yankee
Version of English breakfast?
These days we’ve had our share of shocks–
Voters who are dumb as rocks
Anti-vaxxers spreading pox
Grade school teachers wearing Glocks
Nazis and Klansmen out the box
Brexiteers emulating Fawkes–
But…but…but…
What kind of brain-dead f*cking moron can’t spell SOX ?!?