Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
When wintry winds cause batsmen
All to whiff and to wail,
They’re laughed off by a moundsman
Whose name is Rich Gale.
While batters may wish it were dry
And comfortably warm,
The winds won’t bother a Davis
With a first name like Storm.
When the field becomes mired
In a swampy wet bog
And the sky is grayed o’er,
Make the call to Josh Fogg.
If the weather gets so bad
Fans all need to take cover,
You need a staff with Jim Coates
And, of course, Gary Glover.
A Red Sox pitcher named Kelly
Was attacked severely belly to belly.
In a wild thrown toss
He hit the wrong hoss
Which erupted in a bench-empty melee.
Pinstripes and Red Sox may take a swing
across “The Pond” in 2019.
Is it revolutionary invasion
or an MLB expansion?
Already tabloids do opine
the differences that are between
the colonies’ 7th inning stretch
and London’s tea time.
The legend lives on
From the Bambino on down
Of the team that folds like a patsy
The Fens, it said,
Always throws up its dead
When the winds of November come early
The Sox were the pride
Of the MLB side
With a team that was certain to win it
A roster so sweet
That they let the boys cheat
And said scarcely a word ag’in it
They had Sale on the mound
And Price who would pound
Any old man who dared to offend him
And Porcello who
You knew would come through
And too many others to mention
The outfield was young
Their praises were sung
Above all the Babe Benintendi
They did a cute dance
And around they would prance
When the team it won so bigly
They were handed the East
Which was the least
MLB could do for their story
Then they’d run through the ‘Stros
And the bows and arrows
And go straight to the Series and glory
But Nuni’s knee gave
Then their main Sale caved
And the Olde Towne Team was hurtin’
Then Pomeranz fell
And Kimbrel went to hell
And another big choke, it was lurkin’
Does any man know
Where the love of God goes
When the hits turn the innings to hours?
I adore the playoffs
When the season’s on the line
Mistakes a bit more tragic
Nice plays near divine
Veterans get one last lap
And rookies get to shine
I only wish they hadn’t made me
Hate “Sweet Caroline”