Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Clayton Kershaw
Prefers Shaw
Over Ibsen
If he had to put dibs in.
Mark Trumbo
Likes all his shrimp jumbo
And when he orders, it takes
A shovel to serve his Baltimore crab cakes.
Mookie Betts
Likes all kinds of pets
But he has no use
For cockatuse.
Buster Posey
We don’t want to be nosey
But why do the #Giants even appear
At games in odd-numbered years?
To Red Sox’ Chris Young
The Red Sox beat the Giants in 10.
Final score: 5 to 3, leaky ‘pen.
Play in seventh was key:
First and third, one out, the
Jints ahead, but did not score again.
When Ortiz topped the ball to right side,
Giants need to turn two. Crawford tried.
Young, runner, eluded
The tag, play concluded:
One on, two outs, with Giants, Sox tied.
On this beautiful summer day in June
The Royals rise and the White Sox swoon
The Astros still dream of their trip to the moon
The Red Sox hope they aren’t peaking too soon
While the Yanks obsess over things picayune
The Rangers and Jays field their share of goons
Tampa ponders a move to Saskatoon. . .
And Epstein’s still the smartest guy in the room.
For Cy Williams (career 1912-1930)
Baseball’s first famous Defensive Shift
Named for “Williams” set fielders adrift.
Though named for Williams guy,
It’s not Ted, rather Cy,
The Phillies’ slugger whom history’s stiffed.
With apologies to Bob Dylan
“There must be some way out of here,”
Said Girardi to himself,
“The pitching’s all gone south –
I can’t get no relief.
Red Sox, they drink the wine,
While Bombers dig the earth.
And none of this is fine,
But my pitching . . . what’s it worth?”