Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
BALTIMORE
The Orioles soared…
Does anyone believe they
Can fly high again?
BOSTON
With no Valentine,
Can the Olde Towne Team win back
Bleeding Boston hearts?
NEW YORK
Old Yankee soldiers
May not die, but do tend to
End up disabled
TAMPA BAY
Rays fans hold out hope
That good pitching can make up
For that weird infield
TORONTO
When blue jays make noise
It signals that something is
Wrong in the forest
I really don’t know what to say,
This lineup hurts me, to a man,
How did we get so old and gray?
I wish I were a Redsock fan.
I used to think we’d find a way,
With Swish or Tex or Grandyman.
Now each resembles Jason Bay.
I wish I were a Redsock fan.
I cannot take another day,
Of watching Arod kick the can.
How did we ever get this way?
I wish I were a Redsock fan.
Hart Seely’s book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Games From Your Couch, is available everywhere, including Amazon.
Former Cream bassist ponders lost love in the wake of the Impossible Dream.
Everybody’s on the skids
Yankees, maybe Baltimore too
Throw in hot Tampa as well
And one wonders about Toronto
“Skidding” being short rides
in September – and who
comes out on top, well
a skid is a slide through
September, anybody’s guess
Players missed when it counts
wild pitches now a measure,
late-season swoons and rallies
and who plays in October
Old Roger’s back on the hill,
Tryin’ to prove somethin’ to someone,
Mowin’ down hitters half his age,
Givin’ the AARP quite a thrill.
Old Roger’s campaign’s not done,
He’ll keep tryin’ to clear his name,
Hoping his Hall of Fame ticket is punched,
As he rides off into the sun.
I wonder if Roger is scared
Of knowing how little it means.
He’s no more than a coddled cheat,
And it’s been a long time since we cared.