Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,
Nabs a win at 49.
Never pitched to ol’ Babe Ruth
But babysat him one time.
Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.
How thin-skinned Red Sox players
Seemingly are off-stage
Dramatically running to defend
“Slighted” comrade Youkilis
It seems nothing in Boston functions
Without turmoil
And there’s no such thing as “just a blip”
On Boston’s radar
So what’s next in Bean . . . no
“Diva” Town?
Saddle up City of Boston
For a bumpy summer stage
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
“They might break even
if the young pitching improves.”
We’ve heard this before.
BOSTON RED SOX
After a tough loss
the new manager searches
for false-nose glasses
SEATTLE MARINERS
Jesus can create
a feast from loaves and fishes,
but Jesus can’t catch.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
With steroids now banned
normal aging will resume.
The cliff draws near.
DETROIT TIGERS
Trying to play third
when first base is a stretch could
drive a man to drink.
Connor and Josh performing their poem “Baseball” at The Cantab Lounge in Boston, Mass., at The National Poetry Slam in 2011. They were representing The Loser Slam venue from New Jersey.
How quickly one forgets
last year’s Red Sox implosion
or the Yankees playoff exit
when even now – it’s only
preseason – the two meet
again like history-magnets
and this year’s promise
of rivalry running deep deeper
than any pundit prediction
or Las Vegas line