Thoughts on Updike’s ‘Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu’ After 60 Long Years

by Matt Lindon

Ted Williams despised Yankee Stadium
The size and shadows persist
Built on a glacial wetland
Underlined by polished schist

So the outfield was sub-irrigated
Into a slow and swampy sod
Naturally moist and ever green
On which Mickey Mantle plod

All the people sitting around Updike
at Ted’s final home win
In the moist autumn wetland ballpark
In Boston’s Post-Cambrian Fens

The chain-smoking Boston babes, the B.C. humor
The insecure insouciance of the Harvard freshmen
Knowing all, knowing nothing
A place we all have been.

But the Ted hypotheticals are a little thin:
What if Mickey Mantle was healthy
and didn’t drink like a fish
or if DiMaggio was not so wealthy.

The tired timeless comparisons
with Ty Cobb and Shoeless Joe Jackson
A game played at glacial pace.
Another era. Another eon.

 

Charley Radbourn

by Michael Ceraolo

I loved base ball even if it wasn’t respectable,
and after the season I had in ’84
I earned both money and respect
I loved Carrie even though society said
she was a woman who didn’t deserve love:
her first husband, she, and I
all died of the same social disease;
who contracted it first and passed it on
is unknowable now, and doesn’t matter
You love who and what you love,
and I loved and still love
base ball and Carrie, without apology

AL East 2020 Projection Haiku

A Bardball exclusive, originally created by Stuart Shea

ORIOLES
Reduce reuse rebuild
If prospects were wishes
They’d have a parade

RED SOX
Get us a ring, Chaim
Also below the tax cap
Beat the Yanks too, ‘kay?

YANKEES
Last year’s injured list
Now a memory–Ooops!
Judge sidelined again.

RAYS
D’Arnaud, Garcia
Are off to greener pastures
They still grow talent.

BLUE JAYS
Twenty-one hurlers
Keep switching battery out
Of blue muscle car.

 

Scandal Roster

by  Matt Sussman (@suss2hyphens)

A.J. Hinch, crossed the line
Luhnow gone, heavy fine
Draft picks lost, rings are not
Owner sad for getting caught
Crane denied part in team’s
Making up the banging scheme
Taubman censured in the text
Cora, Beltran might be next

Posted on Twitter, 1/13/20