Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
I loved base ball even if it wasn’t respectable,
and after the season I had in ’84
I earned both money and respect
I loved Carrie even though society said
she was a woman who didn’t deserve love:
her first husband, she, and I
all died of the same social disease;
who contracted it first and passed it on
is unknowable now, and doesn’t matter
You love who and what you love,
and I loved and still love
base ball and Carrie, without apology
A Bardball exclusive, originally created by Stuart Shea
ORIOLES
Reduce reuse rebuild
If prospects were wishes
They’d have a parade
RED SOX
Get us a ring, Chaim
Also below the tax cap
Beat the Yanks too, ‘kay?
YANKEES
Last year’s injured list
Now a memory–Ooops!
Judge sidelined again.
RAYS
D’Arnaud, Garcia
Are off to greener pastures
They still grow talent.
BLUE JAYS
Twenty-one hurlers
Keep switching battery out
Of blue muscle car.
A.J. Hinch, crossed the line
Luhnow gone, heavy fine
Draft picks lost, rings are not
Owner sad for getting caught
Crane denied part in team’s
Making up the banging scheme
Taubman censured in the text
Cora, Beltran might be next
Posted on Twitter, 1/13/20
Men in suits unnerved
mete out swift skewed punishment
Twitterverse appeased
In baseball, teams often steal signs
But one shouldn’t cross certain lines.
To scam the next throw
With video? No!
Suspensions will follow–and fines.