by Stephen Jones
You know where your team will be, come postseason,
Whether it’s one step above, or in the division cellar:
Your play-by-play guy and your color commentator
Are already talking about next year’s starting rotation.
Cashie Stardust and the Wonder from Mars
By HoraceClarke66
Cashie played us all,
Jivin’ us that we were voodoo.
With our Wonder from Mars
He batted from each side,
Hit it far and wide.
Became the special man,
And we were Jasson’s fans.
Cashie loved to bray,
Tellin’ us that we’d be champs soon,
That the kids were all stars,
Or even from Mars.
He had a secret plan,
And someday he’d tell us, man.
So where was the Martian?
While that jerk tried to break our balls?
Just the beer lights to guide us.
So he brought him to the show,
And blew out his elbow!
Oh, yeah.
Cashie played for time,
Jivin’ us the Yanks were voodoo.
That the kids were for real
And he was the deal.
God, but he was an ass!
He took it all too far,
And thought that he was the star.
Making love with his ego,
Cashie sucked up into his mind (ah!).
Like a leper messiah,
When his deals had killed the team
We had to give up the dream.
Oh, yeah.
Cashie played us all . . .
This parody was originally posted on the indispensible Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is . . .caught.
Yankees 6, Houston 2
by Stephen Jones
So many new faces on the Yankee roster —
Triple A-ers getting fan attention —
And it felt like April, not September,
On a warm Friday night in Houston.
It was nice, for just a moment, to forget
Where the Pinstripe season has gone this year
And instead to relish the moment
When new faces might be the Yankee future.
Braves 5, Yankees … Zip
by Stephen Jones
Yes, the Braves right now
Are the best team in baseball,
And yes, the Yankees are riding
An historic implosion this season,
And yes [painfully, so painfully
If you’re a Yankee fan],
The three “games” were ugly.
But despite the doom and gloom,
There was a silver lining —
Michael Kay calling the game,
And David Cone and Paul O’Neil
Adding insightful, humorous
Commentary. The trio made this
Downward Yankees’ slide palatable.
Midsummer Stock
by James Finn Garner
The theatrical Yankees skip Boone
Had an act that made the crowds swoon:
Scratch a line in the sand,
Make an “Outta here!” stance,
And the rags say he’s the new Tommy Tune!
