Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
A litany of problems
.    Dead arm Tommy John
.    Rotator cuff Inflamed shoulder
.    Hamstring Deep bruising
A roll call of DL pitchers
.    Chamberlain & Chavez
.    Colon Corona & Curtis
.    Feliciano & Hughes
.    Marte Sanit & Soriano
And a lazy susan carousel of prospects
.    Coming & going from the minors
What’s next? What’s the math?
How to engineer the gap between
The starting rotation and Rivera?
by David Bellel
We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files
We’d like to help you get more teammates like yourself
Look around you, all you see are ineffective guys
Stay around and keep the opposition from getting home
And here’s to you, David Robertson
The Yankees love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, David Robertson
Heaven holds a place for those who save
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)
Keep throwing strike outs so no one ever goes
Put them in their place when it calls for high stakes
It’s your little secret, your Robertson-like flair
Most of all, you’ve got us off the skids
Coo, coo, ca-choo, David Robertson
The Yankees love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, David Robertson
Heaven holds a place for those who save
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)
You’ll find David posting with the rest of Yankee stalwarts over at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….Caught.
There’s a question of ageing
Waging within the team’s locker room
Is in the tabloids & elsewhere
Wherever it is a pastime’s chatter
But tell how Mariano Rivera
Still scares batters how
One pitch crafted over years
& delivered to perfection
Still splinters ash still confounds
Batters makes managers scramble
After a record 1000 games
His home is still the mound
Fans in New England (the Red Sox Nation)
Are masochists in anticipation.
Yankee fans are clever guys
Two strikes on batter, they all rise
Sophisticated crowd. Who knew
All of them could count to two?
The Cubby fans are loud and jivey,
Or are they rooting for the ivy?
It’s Baseball Night in Canada, eh?
Do the Blue Jays fight or do they play?
Texas loves the Texas Rangers
To the rest of us they’re total strangers.
Mets fans shout it:
Fuhgeddaboudit!
Good players are what their diamond lacks
But their fans still cheer the Diamondbacks.
The team is shaky in Seattle
The players may but the fans don’t rattle.
Florida fans all like to laze
Watch the game, take in the Rays.
Some fans will cheer and that’s
All we have for the Washington Nats.
Philadelphia’s fandom
Cheers or boos—it’s random.
See that half black boy over there, runnin’ scared
His baseball game just goes half-throttle
He done quit getting high fives to choke full time
So now his fans are living in the bottle
See that half black boy over there, runnin’ scared
His baseball game just goes half-throttle
This ol’ man has got a problem
Can’t do hardly anything,
Minka won’t get a wedding ring but a bottle.
And don’t you think it’s a crime
When time after time, our old heroes send us reaching for the bottle
Living in a bottle
See that half brotha he was so fine before he
Stared to decline
While his fans hit the bottle
Last time he was fine was in 2009
and now he’s just markin’ time,
While his fans hit the bottle.
You’ll find David posting with the rest of Yankee stalwarts over at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….Caught.