An Ode To Matt Wieters

by Ember Nickel

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Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
Beloved of pundits and bloggers and Tweeters.
We all knew for ages that he’d be the best
And now to his greatness I too can attest.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
Those who would surpass him are certainly cheaters.
I saw him break up a no-hitter! (Although
It was the second inning…but even so.)

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
His home runs can travel for hundreds of meters.
But to his opponents he’s kind and shows grace
(I saw him hit a fielder’s choice to first base.)

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
He’ll crush all your changeups, he’ll hit your high heaters.
But he’s so good that he doesn’t need to swing.
(I saw him walk.) Yes, he can do everything.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
No other people can claim to be world-beaters.
Who else could ground out to shortstop with his skill?
(I saw him do that too.) No one can, or will.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
When the game is tied up, and the outcome teeters
In the Orioles’ final at-bat, Wieters’ clout
Came up to the plate…and I saw him strike out.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
He’ll make us forget old Pujolses and Jeters
And Mauers and Molinas and–never mind
That now. Did you hear Stephen Strasburg got signed?

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Posted 9/29/2009

Derek Jeter and the Iron Horse

by Hart Seely

Derek Jeter took his bat
And flailed as if to a kill a rat.
He didn’t get a hit, of course,
And thus still trailed the Iron Horse.

Derek Jeter, what a bum!
Three measily hits would never come.
We really need a solid force,
But he still trailed the Iron Horse.

Derek Jeter, swinging late.
One brutal day: and 0 for eight.
And yet we state, withour remorse,
That he is now our Iron Horse.

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Posted 9/10/2009

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.

Poem for October

by Hart Seely

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Teixiera is a god to me,
He needs to be the MVP.
But if he wins no Series ring,
He won’t have won a goddamm thing.

This could be Jeter’s finest year,
Best season in his great career.
But if he gains no Series ring,
It will not mean a goddamm thing.

I still recall Scott Brosius’ clout,
To save us from our final out.
But we then took no Series ring.
It did not mean a goddamm thing.

We’ve shut down Papi, J.D. Drew,
Defeated Lester, Beckett, too,
But if there is no Series ring,
Those wins weren’t worth a goddamm thing.

So hear now, loudly, autumn’s call,
Which beckons to us, every fall:
“IF YOU DON’T WIN THAT SERIES RING,
“DON’T BOTHER COMING BACK NEXT SPRING!”

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Posted 9/3/2009

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.

A-Rod Haiku

by Anthony Salazar

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Pay-Rod left our town
To seek fame and great fortune
Pity his poor choices

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Published 8/27/09

Ode to an Oriole’s Lament

Copyright by Mike Nortrup

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I journeyed out to Camden Yards
To watch the Birds prevail,
Hoping against fervent hope
I would not see them fail

Even though so many times
The O’s would break my heart,
Getting hopes up for awhile
And then they’d fall apart.

Our starter lasted till the fourth
But rarely found the plate,
And when he got one in the zone
It came in flat or straight.

Predictably they crushed the ball.
Jones bid three shots adieu.
Markakis watched one sail untouched
Into Boog’s Barbecue.

But no way did they toss the towel–
They clawed and made it back.
That sent their grey-clad visitors
Into panic attack.

Then Huff got nailed at second base.
Oh, tell me why he tried!
And Mora rounded third too far.
He stumbled and got fried.

Those forays cost the Birds two runs,
And when those plays were done,
I sat there mired in prescient rage,
Just knew they’d lose by one.

Then for awhile they pulled ahead
And had advantage late.
Their faithful went delirious.
It seemed they’d changed their fate

And then the bullpen came to save
With warm-up pitches thrown,
But all who sat there now lament
Because the lead was blown.

But hey! The Birds weren’t through quite yet.
The ninth was still to play.
They still had one more chance to show
They would not go away.

They got ’em loaded with none out–
It wouldn’t have taken much–
But then three guys each went to bat
And faded in the clutch.

I rode on the Hunt Valley train
And pondered why I came.
I cursed the naive childlike zeal
That brought me to that game.

And then I swore that this was it.
That game had been my last!
Of course I’d said that many times,
In decades now long past.

But later on, it came to me:
The Orioles are my curse.
Hooked on my beloved Birds,
For better or for worse.

Published 8/25/09