Posted on

A Poem for Carl Pavano

by Hart Seely

.

He’ll break out in some rare disease,
That turns his arm to cottage cheese,
A fungus will infect his rod,
If there’s indeed a Yankee God.

He’ll give up six runs in the first,
And go from being bad to worst,
He’ll feel the heat of our Jihad,
If there’s indeed a Yankee God.

And if there is no Man upstairs,
No one to hear our heartfelt prayers,
He still shall face a long hard slide,
If there’s one ounce of Yankee pride.

.

For more of Hart’s tasteful insights into the national pastime, visit It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…caught.

Posted 10/9/2009

Posted on

A Baseball Poem #5

by Stephen Jones

Chilly tonight
Sky gray-mottled already

But baseball explodes
Despite the chill despite the gray

The Yankees make history
And drop to no one

I have dreamed this . . .
Pie face pie face

And money money Yes
. . . But a team is born

It may be chill it may be gray
But not arrrogant

In October pinstripes look good

.

Posted 10/1/2009

Posted on

An Ode To Matt Wieters

by Ember Nickel

.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
Beloved of pundits and bloggers and Tweeters.
We all knew for ages that he’d be the best
And now to his greatness I too can attest.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
Those who would surpass him are certainly cheaters.
I saw him break up a no-hitter! (Although
It was the second inning…but even so.)

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
His home runs can travel for hundreds of meters.
But to his opponents he’s kind and shows grace
(I saw him hit a fielder’s choice to first base.)

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
He’ll crush all your changeups, he’ll hit your high heaters.
But he’s so good that he doesn’t need to swing.
(I saw him walk.) Yes, he can do everything.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
No other people can claim to be world-beaters.
Who else could ground out to shortstop with his skill?
(I saw him do that too.) No one can, or will.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
When the game is tied up, and the outcome teeters
In the Orioles’ final at-bat, Wieters’ clout
Came up to the plate…and I saw him strike out.

Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters! Matt Wieters!
He’ll make us forget old Pujolses and Jeters
And Mauers and Molinas and–never mind
That now. Did you hear Stephen Strasburg got signed?

.

Posted 9/29/2009

Posted on

Derek Jeter and the Iron Horse

by Hart Seely

Derek Jeter took his bat
And flailed as if to a kill a rat.
He didn’t get a hit, of course,
And thus still trailed the Iron Horse.

Derek Jeter, what a bum!
Three measily hits would never come.
We really need a solid force,
But he still trailed the Iron Horse.

Derek Jeter, swinging late.
One brutal day: and 0 for eight.
And yet we state, withour remorse,
That he is now our Iron Horse.

.

Posted 9/10/2009

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.

Posted on

Poem for October

by Hart Seely

.

Teixiera is a god to me,
He needs to be the MVP.
But if he wins no Series ring,
He won’t have won a goddamm thing.

This could be Jeter’s finest year,
Best season in his great career.
But if he gains no Series ring,
It will not mean a goddamm thing.

I still recall Scott Brosius’ clout,
To save us from our final out.
But we then took no Series ring.
It did not mean a goddamm thing.

We’ve shut down Papi, J.D. Drew,
Defeated Lester, Beckett, too,
But if there is no Series ring,
Those wins weren’t worth a goddamm thing.

So hear now, loudly, autumn’s call,
Which beckons to us, every fall:
“IF YOU DON’T WIN THAT SERIES RING,
“DON’T BOTHER COMING BACK NEXT SPRING!”

.

Posted 9/3/2009

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.