Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Doug Fahrendorff
Milwaukee seemed near that summer
Earl Gillespie and
Blaine Walsh
Brought us the excitement
As the Braves
Battled for the pennant
The radio our ticket
To County Stadium
Aaron and Matthews
Spahn and Burdette
A World Series win
Over the hated Yankees
Celebrate Wisconsin!
Posted 6/9/2009
by James Finn Garner
I was warmly surprised
That the new Yankee Stadium
Has all those spare seats
(And good ones, too!)
For the ghosts of all the fans
In the Yankee Universe who never made it there:
The Bowery Bum who could never buy a ticket,
The upstate farmer who could never spare time,
The soldier who fought alongside Joltin’ Joe and never made it back,
The street kid who played catch with junk and never had a chance, at anything.
I bet a Bombers game on the radio
Was sometimes a cooling touch of silk that eased their minds,
And Yankee Stadium unseen was
A green heaven they didn’t know they wished for.
Now they’re behind home plate,
Feet up, leaning back,
Making good use of the space.
Here’s to them,
And to the good-hearted Yankees.
Posted 6/4/2009
By James Finn Garner
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Now that cameras can detect and correct
Our errors and human frailty,
I call for a replay of
Fidrych talking to the ball,
Reggie hitting in October,
Bob Gibson staring,
Koufax stretching,
Veeck laughing,
DiMaggio’s war years,
And Hank Greenberg’s,
And 1994, which could have saved the Expos,
And spared us the Nationals,
And Cap Anson shutting his damned mouth
And Buck O’Neil playing for the Cubs,
Satchel Paige for the A’s,
And Cool Papa Bell for the Cardinals.
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Posted 5/14/09
by James Finn Garner
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Erstwhile Dodger savior Manny:
Did we doubt it’d come out like this?
If a story leaked you were a tranny,
The world would maybe feel amiss.
Our revulsion might yet arise
If cameras caught you fondling grannies,
But frankly it’s no big surprise
That juicing’s Manny being Manny.
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Posted 5/11/09
by Sid Yiddish
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Lies that he told,
When he was 18 years old or perhaps it was 17.
“I’d say that was accurate,” Alex Rodriguez told ESPN, when admitting he took steroids.
“No, I didn’t take steroids,” Alex Rodriguez told CBS.
So which answer is it, yes or no?
Is it one or the other, which one can it be?
Say it ain’t so, amigo!
Yet, the Alex Rodriguez version of the word accurate, doesn’t quite feel the same, when it comes to taking the real blame.
Do you think it will really overtly affect his game?
Why not ask his best girl, Madonna
The musical barometer of misconstrued fame, she knows through the public eye, that telling lies doesn’t matter, just as long as the fans don’t notice the old switcheroo, while his handlers silently whitewash the bad in favor of accurately keeping what’s left of his good name.
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For more on Sid Yiddish’s poetry, music and performances, check out his My Space page.
Posted 5/8/09