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Robbie Cano

by Hart Seely

Robbie Cano,
He’s very rich.
Robbie Cano,
Won’t take a pitch.

Robbie Cano,
Both night and day,
Robbie Cano,
Just swings away.

Robbie Cano,
In spring and fall,
Robbie Cano,
Won’t take a ball.

Robbie Cano,
Makes too much dough,
Robbie Cano,
He’s gotta go.

.

Hart Seely is the author of  Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.

Posted 4/8/09

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AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST 2009 HAIKU FORECASTS

By Stuart Shea

RAYS
Last year’s fish is cooked.
Singing songs of spring, the team
Trawls for the title.

RED SOX
Dust is in the air.
Dustin is in the infield.
Just get me a cloth.

YANKEES
$300 trillion
And they say they can’t afford
A spare infielder?

BLUE JAYS
Rock and hard place—both
Tough to climb when you work with
Canada dollars.

ORIOLES
When does that new show,
“Waiting for Weiters” come on?
Not quickly enough.

Posted 3/30/09.

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The Suspension of ’08: Games 5A and 5B

by Todd Herges

The game was huge, as all involved know well.
It started with pomp, tradition and a pitch,
Then rain began, in sheets grew to a swell.

The field got wet, began to go to hell.
Tarp and sand were tried, but mattered not which.
The game was huge, as all involved know well.

A crew of groundsmen have a tale to tell.
If not for them would be no final catch.
The rain kept up, in sheets grew to a swell.

Lighting the swamp, a giant neon bell.
All prayed for sun lest park become a ditch.
The game was huge, as all involved know well.

The man on top, Commish, he made the call.
(This being-in-charge can really be a bitch.)
The rain did end, and Phils could victory smell.

Each Ray’s iPod echoed the same dark knell.
If but could face a Williams, maybe Mitch!
The game was huge, as all involved know well.
The rain asterisked rules, grew to a swell.

Posted 11/6/08

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Hey, You! Abreu!

by Hart Seely

Hey, you! Abreu!
Catch that ball.
Have you ever in your life
Gone near a wall?

Yeah, you! Abreu!
With too many pop flies.
Hitting third for the Yanks,
With far too few RBIs.

Hey you! Abreu!
Spring, summer, fall.
Sorry, dude; we liked you,
We’ve just hit the wall.

Hart Seely is the author of the hilarious Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.

Posted 10/12/08