By George Castle
There once was a coach named Mazzone
Whose teachings fit teams to a tee,
But Orioles changes left him all alone
And he got axed by boss Andrew B.
Posted 10/15/07
The Blue Jay Way
by James Finn Garner
The Jays landed simply a smidge above .500.
Their season has strolled by, not thundered.
No highs of joining a pennant race,
No lows of wallowing in last place,
No untoward attention-getting,
No clubhouse brawls, no fretting
About performance enhancers,
No dog fights, gunplay, or nude dancers.
A campaign so nice and proper
Would never face charges of treason.
How very Canadian of the Jays
To enjoy such an adequate season!
Posted 10/11/07
O Crap
by Stu Shea
Though their legacy is royal and their ballpark always fine,
It’s been a rocky season for the Baltimore nine.
Their loudest fan passed away, the manager was fired,
And even longtime fans are getting tired.
Drug rumors dog the clubhouse; they lost 30-3;
And they’ve been no-hit by a Red Sox rookie.
One more losing year and small crowds at the park,
This franchise walks, blindfolded, in the dark.
As long as Peter Angelos renews his owner’s plates,
The devastation won’t abate.
Posted 10/4/07
A-Riddle: Who Am I?
by Hart Seely
In spring I do well,
And in June, I excel,
All summer, my output is keen.
When colder it grows,
My uncertainty shows,
And in autumn, I’m one for fourteen.
In April I soar,
Through July, my friends score,
All summer, I’m high as the sky.
Then comes the post,
When I’m needed the most,
And in autumn, not one RBI.
I rumble through June,
And they pay me the moon,
All summer, my teammates show faith.
Then the leaves start to fall,
And my stick becomes small,
And in autumn, they bat me at eighth.
Taken from Hart’s new book, Mother Goose Goes to Washington: Nursery Rhymes for the Political Barnyard, from Simon & Schuster.
Posted 10/3/07.
Stretch Run and No Manny
By Stu Shea
Where’s Manny?
Where’s Manny?
All Boston’s getting clammy.
The Red Sox are in danger of a troubling declanny.
If “Manny being Manny”
Means pulled muscle or strained hammy,
Opponents dance and laugh
Because he can’t give them the whammy.
If Terry F. is canny,
He’ll come up with a planny
To help the Red Sox win it
Even if they don’t have Manny.
But if Coco’s cold and Papelbon
Cannot escape a jammy,
The Fenway Faithful might cry out
For someone else…like…Sammy?!
Posted 9/26/07