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The Flight of Goose Gossage

by Sandy Marshall

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You are your own Bossage,
You have your own mitt that you sign and Embossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You always will Flossage,
Your round rolling stone will ne’er gather no Mossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You boot up with DOSsage,
You always predict the results of coin Tossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
Your car drives with Nossage,
And you play like you dance, like the winged Bob Fossage.

(Sandy’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)

Posted 8/3/07

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Ode to the ‘Pen

by Hart Seely

Farnsworth, Myers, Proctor: O, doctor.
How low can our spirits go?
We’re leading by nine in the last of the sixth.
And we’ll probably have to use Mo.

Farnsworth, Myers, Proctor, O, doctor.
Somebody pass me the Drano.
Our nine-run lead is now down to two.
And, O, God! Here comes Vizcaino.

(Hart’s site: It is High, It is Far, It is…caught)

Posted 8/1/07

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O’s Woes

by Grady Hammerson

A decade now of losing woes,
Of succumbing to the AL foes.
Ten long years of losing flings
As other teams collect their rings.

Since the glory days of Frank and Brooks,
When Palmer induced those nervous looks,
When Ripken played without much rest,
Before Palmeiro failed his test,

When Boog was more than BBQ’s,
Before the Yankees stole our Moose,
Back when Brady hit 50 dingers–
The memory of it barely lingers.

We still watch and hope and pray
That the Orioles will succeed someday,
That they will hit a winning stride
And let their fans feel joy and pride,

But for now we watch games rarely pleasin’,
And say, “At least there’s football season.”

Posted 7/23/07

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Schillborn

By Stu Shea

 

The Red Sox game was thrilling,

A feast of pitching filling,

But the A’s hit lots of balls quite hard off Curt.

Some big plays saved his bacon,

And the plans that he was makin’

Fell to pieces as he got his just dessert.

Shannon Stewart foiled the no-no,

But Curt Schilling still won 1-0,

So he has to feel okay despite the shock.

And while he may feel abashed,

With his hist’ry-making dashed,

At least he didn’t bleed right through his sock.

In reference to Curt Schilling’s June 7 one-hitter.

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Tampa Bay Devil Names

by Stu Shea

What’s in a Name?

 

Elijah Dukes will use his fists,

Delmon Young has room to grow.

James Shields gives protection to his team.

 

 

Jorge Cantu just can’t play,

And Jae Ryu’s goose is Kuked,

While Carlos’ twinge of Pena makes him scream.

 

 

But nothing Maddons a manager more

Than giving up a five-run lead,

Burning a bullpen

That sucks indeed.

 

 

Posted after the Rays gave up six runs in the bottom of the ninth to lose to the Blue Jays, 12-11, on June 5.