By Stu Shea
The Stanley Cup’s a former ‘wow’–
Go, go Jays!
Some team in Florida wants it now.
Go, go Jays!
Our baseball team is top-of-pile,
We’ve won 11 straight in lovely style.
It’s nicer than it’s been in a while!
Go, go Jays!
The Woeful AL East
by Stephen Jones
Tampa Bay and the Yankees–
They’re running neck-and-neck.
Each team a game over .500 . . .
And fighting for first place?
Mind you, those also-rans–
The Red Sox, Orioles, Blue Jays–
Aren’t so far behind. But, hey,
What’s happened to the AL East?
Dunno. Let’s hang up a sign–
For Sale: 1 Over-Hyped Division.
Over-Priced Team–Your Choice.
Get it now–Cheap!
American League East 2015 Spring Training Haiku
By Stuart Shea
Orioles
Hitless in 20…
Not a great way to come back
Is it, Matt Wieters?
Red Sox
New acquisition
For Boston’s Zoo—a panda.
He won’t go hungry.
Yankees
First spring in many
With a wide-open spot where
A legend once trod.
Rays
All the big names gone
And one eye is looking north
Thinking of Quebec.
Blue Jays
It’s hard to know, man…
Can they win without Stroman?
Does Haiku need rhyme?
To Arms! To Arms!
by Stephen Jones
It is, so far, a winter to remember.
Our dreams in the Northeast
Are huddled in a Valley Forge.
Our ballparks have been seized,
Taken by the “white coats” of snow
But in places to the south,
With names like St. Lucie and St. Pete,
The “Sons of Liberty” are unlimbering
They are pitching and catching;
They are heeding the call:
To arms! To arms!
Pitchers and catchers — to arms!
Regular Season Post-Mortem, or a Toast to Stories Departed
By Stuart Shea
10 Teams Continue,
20 Teams Done.
Stories we have followed
Now consigned to history–
Into the pages of a book
That has been replaced by a web site.
Jose Abreu’s rookie season is over.
Corey Kluber’s ass-kicking year is over.
Phillip Hughes’ breakout is over.
Charlie Blackmon’s beard is over.
Kirk Gibson is VERY over.
But the damage done by Kevin Towers’ trades is just beginning.
Altuve’s wonderful year is over.
The Rangers’ long march of injuries is over…
But the Wash Era is also over.
Everth Cabrera’s honeymoon is over.
Marcus Stroman’s debut is over.
The painful Jay Bruce year is over.
Brock Holt Mania! is over.
Another King Felix masterwork is over.
Giancarlo’s monster season is over.
Jonathan Lucroy’s emergence is over.
The Braves’ painful swan dive is over.
Mesoraco’s breakout is over.
The struggles of Springer are over.
The weird Joe Mauer year is over.
Justin Smoak’s chance is over.
Another frustrating Rockies season is over.
The Chase Headley Padres are over.
The Papelbon crap is over,
But the Phillies’ country club continues.
The Frank Wren Era is over.
Colby Rasmus in Toronto is REALLY over.
Desmond Jennings’ honeymoon is over.
Heath Bell seems over.
The Cubs on WGN are over.
Bobby Abreu is over.
Josh Willingham is over.
Carlos Beltran sure looks over.
Can Kevin Gregg please be over?
Jason Giambi is finally over, right?
The 2013 World Champs are really over.
Is Ron Roenicke’s time over?
The Mets’ sexual harassment suit is NOT over.
Wrigley Field as we knew it is over.
Paul Konerko is over.
Derek Jeter is over.
20 Teams are over.