Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
So now, my friends, it’s come to this:
To redeem his chances for the Hall,
Ol’ Roger’s gone to deepest Texas,
Donned his jock and grabbed the ball
To show all pipsqueaks with the gall
To hint his chemistry’s amiss
That the wickedest PED of all
Is simply Lone Star, vinegar and piss.
On a witness a trial may hinge
When a twit did supply the syringe
In his ass was he juiced,
Giving fastballs a boost?
They acquitted, but my, did they cringe.
5-year trial over
Roger Clemens now acquitted
Such waste of dollars
Public reaction?
Like his contriteness mixed
But this play is done
Now comes next year’s act
How will Cooperstown decide?
New theater to come
There’s no reason to argue
or to spew
The American League East
is the best
competitively
realistically
Boston? New York? Tampa?
Baltimore too?
(And Toronto in the mix as well?)
But to shift gears
and memory/years:
Despite all the hiccups
the HGHs and PEDs
baseball the purity of it
continues to confound/explain
why a summer day or in rain
ball-to-bat glove-and-ball
fascinates us all
Stephen Jones is a contract writer/editor with a firm in New York City.
Maybe I am the phantom of baseball
I will do anything for one more at bat
I know I can still hit MLB pitching
I can still hit a golf ball 380 yards
I have the hips of a 20 year old
I can
I have
I have a medical condition:
I love the game so much
Even in exhibition
Invite me for an old timers game
I will play
Anything for a look
Still dreaming of that one last
Trip of imagination
Back to the big leagues
I miss everything where did it go
Patrick Dubuque blogs regularly for Pitchers & Poets, where this first appeared.