Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Talented groundhogs
Trying to burrow through a
two-layer brick wall.
BOSTON RED SOX
Deep at every spot.
Not young at any of them,
Must win now or else.
NEW YORK YANKEES
E. Chavez is “back”!
Well, that’s a strange way to say
That he feels “healthy.”
TAMPA BAY RAYS
Damon? Ramirez?
It all depends what kind of
leadership you want.
TORONTO BLUE JAYS
Latinos can get
Good job opportunities
North of the border.
by Hart Seely
O, God, thy glories doth amaze,
Thy sunlight fills our autumn days,
We gain upon Thy Tampa Rays,
We thank Thee for thine Oakland A’s.
They represent Thy kingly ways,
And smite the ball to double plays,
More holy than Toronto Jays,
God speed thy team… O, Oakland A’s!
And so, to Thee, we offer praise,
For harvesting these wondrous lays,
No Variteks, no Jason Bays,
Return again… O, Oakland A’s.
Hart Seely runs the indispensable Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is … Caught.
Posted 9/6/10
By Ember Nickel
.
There’s more than clocks that must be cleaned in spring:
Some clocks were cleaned, but we don’t need them here.
There’s new faces to meet, all who will bring
Something different to their team for this year.
.
So say hello to Halladay. Don’t say
That Placido need be placid, though. Greet
Greenhorns around the leagues. Proudly call “hey”
To Justin Heyward and each star you meet.
.
Try your best to keep up with Garrett Jones.
Welcome back Marcum. Spring’s glories fade fast
So soak it all in before it all drones
Into no more than murmurs of the past.
.
Learn more of phenoms that you may have heard
Just briefly of. Say hi. Welcome a Byrd.
.
Posted 4/21/2010
By Stuart Shea
ORIOLES
Thousands of tweeters
Will talk of Matt Wieters while
Driving their beaters.
.
RED SOX
The spring mist rises
From the humid Fens again…
Wait, that’s fan B.O.
.
YANKEES
Autumn nears for A-
Rod, Mo, Jeter, Posada,
And, yes, Randy Winn.
.
RAYS
A young rotation,
Some MVP candidates,
A tough division.
.
BLUE JAYS
The center fielder
Needs to break his fall this spring–
Then all will be Wells.
Posted 4/6/2010
By Stuart Shea
RAYS
Last year’s fish is cooked.
Singing songs of spring, the team
Trawls for the title.
RED SOX
Dust is in the air.
Dustin is in the infield.
Just get me a cloth.
YANKEES
$300 trillion
And they say they can’t afford
A spare infielder?
BLUE JAYS
Rock and hard place—both
Tough to climb when you work with
Canada dollars.
ORIOLES
When does that new show,
“Waiting for Weiters” come on?
Not quickly enough.
Posted 3/30/09.