Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Loitering near history’s portals,
The aces proved to be mere mortals
And all the vaunted firemen
Sprinkled gas again and again.
No margin safe, no lead secure.
“Mighty Bregman”? Why not, sure!
Houston’s muggy, the balls are juiced
Hitters snort antler of moose.
Whate’er excuse, my answer remains:
Baseball is the greatest game.
Hitting blasts by the ton, bats were bended
But the Astros had won when it ended
The American League
Took good care of Yas Puig
And then sassed him with tongues all extended.
In LA balls were thrown and bats swung
Even good old Vin Scully seemed young
The game’s great again
So can someone explain
What the hell is the deal with the tongues?
Since “Dem Bums Clubbed Bear Babies,” who knows:
If Bronx Baby Bombers bash ‘Stros,
Are Dodgers Yanks’ “cousin”
Ninth time out of dozen?
Jah must know ‘cuz he asked Billy Loes.*
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* Before dem Bums met the Bronx Bombers in the 1952 World Series, Brooklyn’s resident northpaw wit Billy Loes, when asked his prediction for the series, was quoted, “Yanks in Six.” Headlined the next day, Loes claimed he was misquoted. “I said, ‘Yanks in seven.'”
The Yankees and Dodgers have met in 11 previous times, the most any two teams have met in the Fall Classic (Second, Yanks-Giants (5-2); third, Yanks-Cards (2-3). The Yankees have won eight (1941, ’47, ’49, ’52, ’53, ’56, ’77, ’78). The Dodgers won in 1955 (Brooklyn’s only crown), ’63 and ’81.
Masahiro Tanaka folded
The Houston Astros batters like paper.
Seven innings of zen on the mound.
And, not to be outdone, Yankee batters
Pounded Dallas Keuchel into the ground.