Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
On this beautiful summer day in June
The Royals rise and the White Sox swoon
The Astros still dream of their trip to the moon
The Red Sox hope they aren’t peaking too soon
While the Yanks obsess over things picayune
The Rangers and Jays field their share of goons
Tampa ponders a move to Saskatoon. . .
And Epstein’s still the smartest guy in the room.
He was a six-foot man
In a five-six frame
His unusual physique
Was his nickname
He hustled and he hit
And he ran like heck
An eternal fan favorite
Was little “No Neck.”
So now, my friends, it has come to this,
The World Series of 2015
The kids ablaze on the New York Amazin’s
Versus the Big Blue Royal Machine.
Let’s consider all that’s gone before
As we bid the warm weather goodbye
Some teams did roll as had been foretold
While others came through with surprise.
The new Cubbie kids swung some mean bats
The Blue Jays refused to show fear
Motown fell dead, now needs a retread
While the Giants await an even year.
The Dodgers in their close-ups again blinked
Staid St. Louis became hot and unglued
The Nationals sputtered, then throttled each other
The Lone Star State watched a marvelous feud
So when someone tells you baseball is boring,
Whether online, at work, in a bar,
Don’t chuckle or sigh. Look them straight in the eye
And say, “Baseball’s not boring — you are.”
Walt Harris
Called his therapist
Tony Sipp
Stared and pulled his lip
Luke Gregerson’s
Nervous rash worsened
And the team vowed to shake it off, man,
Before trying to steal Game 5 at Kaufmann.
Young Colby Rasmus and the Astros —
They showed the baseball map future
When they used home run GPS
And directed Yankees to pasture.
*****
The only trip down Broadway Yankee fans
Will see this year is one down Memory Lane.
Needless to say, this coming offseason,
There’s going to be much redirection.