By Stuart Shea
This George Springer–
A real humdinger,
From-the-heels swinger,
Highlight bringer,
Bad-pitch stinger,
But for all we know
He’s not much of a singer.
All-Star Clerihews #1
by Hugh Briss
Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.
Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.
Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.
Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.
Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.
Rushin’ Arc
By Stuart Shea
Only a new form
Of perestroika’ll
Stop the train
That is Dallas Keuchel.
American League West 2014 Spring Training Haiku
By Stuart Shea
ASTROS
An Appel a day
Would keep the losses away
But he’s not yet ripe.
ANGELS
Ask A. Moreno–
Trout fishing in Cali
Can be expensive.
ATHLETICS
Free and well-favored,
No-names and others’ castoffs
Find their own success.
MARINERS
East coast import
Finds rain not to his liking
Even under roof.
RANGERS
Wash likes sac bunting.
His fellow skippers are glad
To accept the out.
Astros and Debits
by James Finn Garner
If Houston’s the most valuable franchise,
As Forbes Magazine did just say,
Then our economic assumptions
Are a foundation made of clay.
To be valuable, apparently, is to
Never spend your cash, just hoard it,
Yet I keep hearing the voice of Chico Marx:
“For us not to play, you couldn’t afford it.”