by Rickey Henderson
This shit don’t count.
This shit don’t go
on the bubble gum card.
How Hard is Hitting?
by Ted Kluszewski
How hard is hitting?
You ever walk
into a pitch-black room
full of furniture
that you’ve never been in before
and try
to walk
through it
without bumping into anything?
Well,
it’s harder than that.
Rickey Henderson
RIP to the greatest lead-off hitter of all time. (12/25/58-12/20/24)
Rickey came on Christmas Day
Rickey born in a cab that day
Rickey lightning on the field
Rickey is the Man of Steal
Rickey wins with all his teams
Rickey says what Rickey means
Rickey never gonna quit
Rickey too legit to quit
Rickey slowing down? Never!
Rickey gonna run forever.
Baseball Parity, Chicago Parody
by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza
Had the Dodgers
Lost just one more game,
This sub-600 season woulda been lame.
The winning percentage
Of most every other team,
Was surely a parity-lover’s dream.
Leaving aside the Angels, Marlins, Rockies,
And the historically bad White Sox,
All the other ballclubs had their shots.
Within sniffing distance of the wild card,
A couple of wins here and there
Woulda given your team a playoff share.
If the Mets and Tigers coulda
Advanced to the second round,
My Cubbies, too, shoulda stuck around.
Yeah, there may be MLB pair-a-tee,
But as Steve Goodman’s Dying Cubs Fans know
They still play the blues in Chi-ca-go.
Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play on the Red Line sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.
Big Klu
by James Finn Garner
When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.
When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!
