Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM ETC.
Albert doesn’t want
Us to call him “The Man,” so
Let’s call him “The Bank.”
OAKLAND ATHLETICS
Manny is Manny.
Elderly is elderly.
Money is wasted.
SEATTLE MARINERS
The only thing worse
Than hitting Ichiro first
Is hitting him third
TEXAS RANGERS
Media outrage
Over Josh Hamilton’s life?
A pile of cow turds
When Oakland’s Swingin’ A’s were swingin’,
A hard-playing, mustachioed team–
Williams quit after winning two titles.
The skipper never changed or mellowed
In Expos white or Padres yellow.
Old-school grit, speed and defense vital.
Angels in heaven might hear him scream,
“You with the harp! You call that singin’?”
By Stuart Shea
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
So Peter Bourjos
Is the fastest man around.
Can he steal first base?
OAKLAND ATHLETICS
A new sun rising
On the bay…change is coming
For Balfour or Wuertz.
SEATTLE MARINERS
How long can the M’s
Stick with Milton Bradley’s act
Til the game’s over?
TEXAS RANGERS
Is it a surprise
That the Rangers have acquired
A pitcher named Bush?
by Bob Carlton
.
Dive to short so deep
it’s almost left field–
a rifle shot
across the diamond–
low ricochet
dug out at first:
a play you’ll never
see again just
another box score out.
.
Posted 5/26/2010
by Diane Firstman
To honor Hideki Matsui, this recap of the Yanks/Angels game of 4/23/10 will be presented in 5/7/5 form:
Pre-game
Yankees and Angels
First of three at The Big A
A.J., Ervin, Ks!
Bottom 1st
A.J. Burnett wild
Walks Erick Aybar on pitch
That reached the backstop
AJ then wheels and
Catches Aybar trying steal
Who needs Posada?
Bobby Abreu
Jealous of Matsui-love
Shown by former team?
Abreu doubles
He states “No walls were hurt in
making of this hit”
Next, Torii Hunter . . .
Swisher slides for liner, but
Can’t hold it, two on
Matsui lines out
But then Kendry Morales
Chops a pitch, hang time!
Mark Teixiera waits
And waits . . . and waits for it to
Come down . . . But too late
Abreu scores run
AJ gets Juan Rivera
To fly out to right
Top 2nd
Santana is sharp
Through two frames only one hit
(A-Rod line single)
Bottom 2nd
Maicer Izturis
Brings Yankees only tsuris
Singles past A-Rod
Kendrick named “Howard”?
He flies out to warning track
Burnett not fooling
Who’s Bobby Wilson?
All Angel catchers must have
Six letters in names?
Napoli is one
Mathis is another one
Who cares? Wilson Ks
Tsuris stole second
While Wilson was striking out
But Aybar ends threat
Top 3rd
Swisher pops to short
Gardner lines hit down left field
First double of year!
Jeter mirrors Brett
Dumps double down right field line
Tying game at 1
Johnson K’s, close pitch
Teix hit on elbow (again?)
Takes first base, two on
Alex rips a hit
Past Izturis, a single
Jeter scores, 2-1.
Teix now at second
Cano drives score truck, singles
Teix charges round third…