Haiku California

by Diane Firstman

To honor Hideki Matsui, this recap of the Yanks/Angels game of 4/23/10 will be presented in 5/7/5 form:

Pre-game
Yankees and Angels
First of three at The Big A
A.J., Ervin, Ks!

Bottom 1st
A.J. Burnett wild
Walks Erick Aybar on pitch
That reached the backstop

AJ then wheels and
Catches Aybar trying steal
Who needs Posada?

Bobby Abreu
Jealous of Matsui-love
Shown by former team?

Abreu doubles
He states “No walls were hurt in
making of this hit”

Next, Torii Hunter . . .
Swisher slides for liner, but
Can’t hold it, two on

Matsui lines out
But then Kendry Morales
Chops a pitch, hang time!

Mark Teixiera waits
And waits . . . and waits for it to
Come down . . . But too late

Abreu scores run
AJ gets Juan Rivera
To fly out to right

Top 2nd
Santana is sharp
Through two frames only one hit
(A-Rod line single)

Bottom 2nd
Maicer Izturis
Brings Yankees only tsuris
Singles past A-Rod

Kendrick named “Howard”?
He flies out to warning track
Burnett not fooling

Who’s Bobby Wilson?
All Angel catchers must have
Six letters in names?

Napoli is one
Mathis is another one
Who cares? Wilson Ks

Tsuris stole second
While Wilson was striking out
But Aybar ends threat

Top 3rd
Swisher pops to short
Gardner lines hit down left field
First double of year!

Jeter mirrors Brett
Dumps double down right field line
Tying game at 1

Johnson K’s, close pitch
Teix hit on elbow (again?)
Takes first base, two on

Alex rips a hit
Past Izturis, a single
Jeter scores, 2-1.

Teix now at second
Cano drives score truck, singles
Teix charges round third…

Continue reading “Haiku California”

American League West 2010 Haiku Forecasts

By Stuart Shea

ANGELS
Rich Latino woos
White fans who usually hire
Latino workmen.

ATHLETICS
Moneyball’s sunset
Means the lineup now includes
Kevin Kouzmanoff.

MARINERS
Hey, Jack Z….that nut
That fell off the hitting tree?
He’s your problem now.

RANGERS
Sweet spring robins’ song
May sound suspiciously like
“Neftali Feliz.”

.

Posted 4/20/2010

AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST 2009 HAIKU FORECASTS

By Stuart Shea

ANGELS
Without its K-Rod,
Sun-dappled Orange County
Prepares for a fight.

ATHLETICS
Green-and-gold adorned
Athletes play in stadia
Named for software.

RANGERS
In football country,
The titans of summer’s game
Proceed unnoticed.

MARINERS
Tho Junior returns,
Creaky knees and failing sight,
The M’s will blow chunks.

.

Posted 4/3/09

It’s Unreal

By Stuart Shea

Real Brewers don’t go out of business so fast.
Real White Sox don’t unravel in hours.
And actual Angels don’t fall from the stars
And land on their butts.

And real Cubs don’t slink out with their tails between their legs
Like a pack of whipped mutts.

Posted 10/16/08

The Prime of Mr. Vladimir Guerrero

By Stuart Shea

Standing tall and smiling, a friendly Angel with no halo,
Vladimir Guerrero.
It’s hard to believe he once was an Expo.

It hurts just to watch him run,
Gobbling turf with gigantic strides,
Hobbling on rusty knees.

Still lets baseballs loose like cannon fire,
Nailing some runners and
Scattering buckshot into the stands.

Tattoos pitches wherever they’re thrown,
High in the zone or at his ankles,
Just like Clemente.
And I’ll tell you what rankles—we’re ignoring him.

We’re watching a great player RIGHT NOW.
See that line-drive triple? How he legged it out, limping like a war vet,
Sliding in, a big grin,
Clapping his hands?
For God’s sake, people, stand up for the man!!

Posted 4/30/08