by Fred Lovato
Mike Trout, like clockwork,
injury, out for season
torn left meniscus
Basement Dwellers
by Fred Lovato
Angels out to prove
that even without Shohei
they’re still woeful team
AL West 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku
by Stuart Shea
Houston Astros
Crass-tros, Disas-stros,
Even Garbage-can-smash-stros—
They’re still really good.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, California
It’s always Disney,
To us, anyway…but now,
No longer Showtime.
Oakland Athletics
Neither here nor there—
Big change only bothers those
Who are not in charge.
Seattle Mariners
Young, strong arms, spring’s joy.
Will Gilbert, Kirby, Miller
Get a “Woo Woo Woo”?
Texas Rangers
Now that we all know
About your autumn harvest,
You’d better watch yourself!
No-Sho Time (Again)
by Fred Lovato
Oblique muscle strain
Shohei absent from lineup
Angels struggle on
UCL Dialogue & Anagram
by Rajesh C. Oza
Shohei: How many years did you pitch?
Tommy: 26.
Shohei: How many after Tommy John surgery?
Tommy: Lucky 13.
Shohei: How many career home runs?
Tommy: 5.
Shohei: Oh. 166 less than me.
Tommy: And counting.
Shohei: I’m trying to unscramble my right arm.
Tommy: My left arm felt like it flew out to right field.
Shohei: Any advice?
Tommy: Dr. Frank Jobe said, “Replace the UCL.”
Shohei: Replace what?
Tommy: Elbow ligament with forearm tendon.
Tommy: Low odds of successful reconstruction.
Shohei: Let’s re-scramble.
Tommy: Ulnar.
Shohei: Lunar.
Tommy: What?
Shohei: Playing both ways was a moon shot!
Tommy: Collateral.
Shohei: LA call: “Tore.”
Tommy: Come again?
Shohei: Angels doc calls it a torn UCL!
Tommy: Ligament.
Shohei: Gilt amen.
Tommy: As in gold?
Shohei: Yes, amen to all the gold forsaken!