This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.

 

Albert the Great

By James Finn Garner

To the 700 home run goup
We can add Pujols with a whoop
After that crank
He joins Babe, Bonds and Hank
And our joy in the game we recoup.

Some Embarrassment, Some Riches

by James Finn Garner

The MVP? It must be Ohtani
Hitter and pitcher, limber and brawny
But I won’t hold a grudge
If the voters choose Judge
His supporting cast isn’t nearly as clowny.

 

All-Star Clerihews #1: The Young and the Restless

Ian Happ
Prefers to use maps
Thinks GPS
Is tracked by the Feds.

Shohei Ohtani
Likes his kosher salami.
In fact, he thinks nothing beats
Encased meats.

Emmanuel Clasé
Will the batters assay
Then still launch a 101-MPH pitch
Bitch.

Jazz Chisholm
Thinks all our actions are a prism
Through which we disperse the One True Universal Light–
All right, man, all right….