Los Angeles Angels – Page 6

Attempted Mustache

With apologies to Loudon Wainwright III

What’s up with Shohei?
upon closer review…oooh
peach-fuzzed upper lip.

Shohei strikes out 10
splendid outing, but no win
Halos lack offense

Chants of “MVP”
echo ‘cross the universe
when Shohei’s at bat

Mike Trout
An All-Star, but out,
A parallel, I suppose,
To his post-season career with the Halos.

Ozzie Albies
Likes to trek through the tall trees
And ask the numberless stars
How many Ozzies there are.

Carlos Rodón
Has got it goin’ on
Non-tendered after 2020
Now mowing down batters like el jefe.

Buster Posey
Doesn’t want to be nosey
But just wants to know that
You’re gonna finish eating that?

Shohei Ohtani
Crushes balls unlike any
And pitches like a mystery–
Face it, folks, we’re watching history.

Josh Hader
Might bring his waders
Along on the All-Star break
And do some fishing on a cool Colorado lake.

Jesse Winker
Tends to lay off the sinkers
But he can go nuts
For a well-made cronut.

J.T. Realmuto’s
Favorite might be Pluto
Among cartoon dogs, but he
Identifies the most with Muttley.