Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Shohei Ohtani, Michael Lorenzen
striking out rivals, driving their friends in.
Need more proof the DH rule’s stupid?
Back in the day, look up what Babe Ruth did.
Reds’ Jacked Renaissance Man Michael Lorenzen Homers, Plays Field, Earns Win Against Phillies
For Mike Trout
On a middling team
MVP-worthy season
gives fans some solace
Pete Alonso
In the HR Derby goes gonzo
But he’d never stoop to flay
A beat reporter from Newsday.
Yusmani Grandal
Thinks the Rock N Roll Hall
Of Fame lacks any substance,
But he still wants to see George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” pants.
Tommy LaStella
Is just a reg’lar fella
Who’d gladly have a beer and a bump
In any Ohio low-rent dump.
Mookie Betts
Likes to bring his pets–
Some anoles and a cane toad–
With him on the road.
Hit for the cycle
Become baseball immortal
What’s next for Shohei?
Every Shohei move
annoyingly scrutinized
punditry gone wild