Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
These are the saddest of possible words:
Jeter, Konerko and Dunn.
Trio of dear ones to all baseball nerds,
Jeter, Konerko and Dunn.
Clean-cutly playing our National Game,
Each one achieving attention and fame —
Long we’ll remember each one of their names:
Jeter, Konerko and Dunn.
The verdict resounded
When gavel was pounded,
And Great Score Keeper settled the score,
“Made move that confounded,
Lost game that astounded;
Billy Beane’s reputation’s no more.”
The F***in’ A’s are history.
How did this thing come to be?!?
A four-run lead in the eighth
And a rested bullpen at the ready.
Sometimes, teams just fall apart.
The Royals showed a lot of heart,
And came back over and over again
After Lester’s gutsy start.
What does it mean for Billy Beane?
His free-agent pitchers will leave the scene,
The farm system decimated,
Times might get pretty lean.
So let’s salute these crazy A’s,
In these darkening Autumn days,
Their brand of insanity so much a part
Of the Bay Area’s humid summer haze.
Reddick and Crisp, Fuld and Gomes,
Brought joy to so many Oakland homes,
Lester, Donaldson, Doolittle, Vogt,
Their season stolen by base-thieving gnomes.
I pity the fans of Oakland
Now known as the city of Chokeland
.   Those tumbling A’s
.   Are humbled and dazed
Time to chill out and just take a toke, man
Trades ‘Rough Diamond’ like common gravel:
Pulled string starting A’s to unravel?!?
.  Though the jury’s still out,
.  Final verdict, no doubt:
“Beane outsmarted self” when judge pounds gavel.