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Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

AL East
Boston
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no

Tampa
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine

Baltimore
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell

New York
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?

Toronto
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse

AL West
Oakland
Cespedes homers
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn!  Who ARE these guys?

Texas
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch

Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?

Seattle
In obscurity
They perform for loyal fans
Wait!  Ichiro’s where?

Houston
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago

AL Central
Detroit
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!

Cleveland
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss

Kansas City
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout

Minnesota
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit

Chicago
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up!  Git up!  Stretch!

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

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Let Me State Our Position Loud and Clerihew (All-Star Edition)

by James Finn Garner

Michael Cuddyer
Might hit the ball higher
On the moon, which has thinner air
Than Denvair.

Dustin Pedroia
Suffers from paranoia.
Though he doesn’t dislike him,
He’s sure the base runner wants to spike him.

Yoenis Cespedes
Doesn’t need us.
He keeps his cool by hitting homers
And ignoring racist tweets from gomers.

Miguel Cabrera
At the plate is a terra.
He’ll win a second Triple Crown
With his mates in Motown.

 

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Clerihews for the All-Star Game

by James Finn Garner

Joe Mauer
Has no need to feel dour.
He’ll get a trip to the Big Apple for frees
Without having to play the Yankees.

Jason Castro
Is the lone Astro.
He brings Bigfoot to mind
As the sole representative of his kind.

Bartolo Colon
Doesn’t climb the mound alone.
He relies on his teammates, and God,
And Big Pharma supporting his ancient bod.

Freddie Freeman
Must be some kind of he-man.
He’ll play in New York instead of Puig.
Too bad that now, I don’t give a fuig.

 

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If…

By Stu Shea

If Bud Selig were alive todays
He’d take some action on the Oakland A’s.
They want to move down south a ways
To escape the Giants’ hold on the Bay.

So why not let the Athletics go,
And draw the well-heeled from Palo Alto?
It’s not as if O.Co is more than so-so,
And they’d love gold and green down in Los Gatos.

 

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Cubs Ball

by Hilary Barta

There’s the ball for a buck they call “money”
On the cheap it buys clover and honey
.      Then there’s Yankee outspending
.      Which can bank happy ending(s)
What the Cubs buy just sucks and ain’t funny

 

The long-suffering Hilary Barta blogs limericks every day at his site LimerWrecks.