Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
HOUSTON
Welcome to the league!
You youngsters enjoy yourselves
As you lose each day
LOS ANGELES
Trout Fishing in spring…
Or Prince Albert in a can?
Is Ryan Mad, son?
OAKLAND
Bartolo Colon
Is still suspended. So…more
food in the clubhouse?
SEATTLE
Raul Ibanez
Played for Seattle during
Bill Clinton’s first term
TEXAS
Replacing Josh H.
With Martin and Gentry? That’s
Carob for dessert
In the other City by the Bay
(The less pretentious of the pair),
The miracle of the Oakland A’s
Has vanished in the morning air.
The pennant proved a will o’ the wisp
For those crazy upstart sons of bitches,
From goat-hero-goat Coco Crisp
To Jarrod Parker of the wild pitches.
How thrilling they were to fans and strangers,
Their chartreuse die-hards blowing gaskets.
For knocking out the wheezing Rangers,
Detroit should send a nice fruit basket.
Pennants, they showed, are earned, not bought.
If Oakland’s not your next year’s pick,
I’ll leave you with this food for thought:
Cespedes is but 26.
Pitcher Al Alburquerque
With a move some found jerky
Got to “first base” with a ball.
When he nabbed a comebacker
And gave it a wet smacker,
It made all the A’s want to brawl.
The hitter for our era
Triple Crown Miguel Cabrera
Texas falls to wild card
From A’s maulers going yard
Yankees claim at last the East
Atlanta goes to best from least
All the pieces now in place
For the annual October race
But my joy is kept in check
Hearing of Pat Neshek
Whose baby boy Gehrig passed on
Amidst all the celebrations
We cheer as one
But grieve alone
November comes
And we are gone
Those Oakland A’s are on the pennant track,
With Billy Beane stalking giants like Jack.
Up the standings they rise,
A low-budget surprise–
The “Moneyball” Crew back in the black.