by Hilary Barta
Dave Kingman would give it his all
Each powerful swing at the ball
But, missing, he’d spin
And, to his chagrin
Would teeter off balance and fall.
Illustration by Jim Siergey
All-Star Clerihews #1 — Raiders of the Lost Clerihew
Marcus Stroman
Knows his history, Greek and Roman.
To pass the time on the team bus
He’ll recite passages from “I, Claudius.”
Luis Arraez
Can do that thing with his eyes
Where he looks to the left, then
Moves the left eye alone to the center again.
Brent Rooker
Has nothing against hookers.
Time will tell if he still plays
For the Las Vegas A’s.
Josh Hader
Loves to play Space Invaders,
Galaxian, Centipede, Donkey Kong
And even Pong.
Yankees 11, Athletics 0
by Stephen Jones
Domingo Germán was in trouble,
His baseball life on the bubble.
His last two outings had been
ERs of 8 and 10,
The tabloids were blaring in his ears
“Off with his head!” and other smears,
And frankly, he didn’t know if and when
He’d be on the mound again.
But this all changed on a Wednesday night
When, in Oakland, he got it right
With a curveball that was unhittable
And a demeanor that was unflappable.
The result: a perfect game, number
Twenty-four in baseball’s history-ledger.
“They are the Oakland A’s”
by the Baseball Project
Teamless
by Ellen Adair
With apologies to Lord Byron
I had a dream that was not all a dream.
Some large misfortune overtook the coasts,
And their tall cities were abandoned, only the blown
Forgotten newsprint scuttling down the street.
Exiled elsewhere, I marveled at the ways
That life persists: baseball was still played
By all the teams based in central states,
Their match-ups limited and circular,
While only ghosts played in my home parks,
Swinging blind at nothing in the moonless air.
Who’s my team now, I thought. No Phillies, Sox,
Or A’s. No Mets. Is it the Diamondbacks?
Ellen Adair is an actor, with recurring roles on shows like “The Sinner,” “Homeland,” and “Bull,” and a contributing analyst to the MLB Network show “Off Base.” Their book of poetry, Curtain Speech, is available from Pen & Anvil Press. They also host the podcasts “Take Me In to the Ballgame” and “Love Takes Action,” and draws baseball players by commission.