Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Each June, ball teams celebrate
Their fanbase’s diversity
It’s just marketing, sure,
But also visibility
All teams, that is, save the Rangers
Who’ve never held a Pride night
Dallas likes to keep things orderly,
Straight and oh-so white
I once thought things were big in Texas
That cliche’s an inanity
Big hats, big boots, big tits and hair
But a puny view of humanity.
New York NY, 2019 via MLB.com
Be sure to catch The Baseball Project on their July 2024 tour through Texas and the Midwest.
Angels out to prove
that even without Shohei
they’re still woeful team
The Yankees swept the Astros
Thanks in part to Juan Soto
And his late-inning heroics.
I know, I know: one weekend
Doesn’t make a whole season,
But there are smiles in the Bronx.
I see you guys in the video room,
just looking at your swings,
reading all these stats.
At some point, you have to just say,
“F— all that s—”
and just go out there and hit.
All I hear is y’all talking about
launch angle
and tendences
and exit velocity.
F—ing exit velocity!?
Motherf—ing exit velocity?!
How about motherf—ing exit hits?!
