By Stuart Shea
.
He no longer earns a roster spot
Or even earns his keep.
The one thing that Ken Griffey’s earned
Is a nice long sleep.
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Posted 5/17/10
Haiku California
by Diane Firstman
To honor Hideki Matsui, this recap of the Yanks/Angels game of 4/23/10 will be presented in 5/7/5 form:
Pre-game
Yankees and Angels
First of three at The Big A
A.J., Ervin, Ks!
Bottom 1st
A.J. Burnett wild
Walks Erick Aybar on pitch
That reached the backstop
AJ then wheels and
Catches Aybar trying steal
Who needs Posada?
Bobby Abreu
Jealous of Matsui-love
Shown by former team?
Abreu doubles
He states “No walls were hurt in
making of this hit”
Next, Torii Hunter . . .
Swisher slides for liner, but
Can’t hold it, two on
Matsui lines out
But then Kendry Morales
Chops a pitch, hang time!
Mark Teixiera waits
And waits . . . and waits for it to
Come down . . . But too late
Abreu scores run
AJ gets Juan Rivera
To fly out to right
Top 2nd
Santana is sharp
Through two frames only one hit
(A-Rod line single)
Bottom 2nd
Maicer Izturis
Brings Yankees only tsuris
Singles past A-Rod
Kendrick named “Howard”?
He flies out to warning track
Burnett not fooling
Who’s Bobby Wilson?
All Angel catchers must have
Six letters in names?
Napoli is one
Mathis is another one
Who cares? Wilson Ks
Tsuris stole second
While Wilson was striking out
But Aybar ends threat
Top 3rd
Swisher pops to short
Gardner lines hit down left field
First double of year!
Jeter mirrors Brett
Dumps double down right field line
Tying game at 1
Johnson K’s, close pitch
Teix hit on elbow (again?)
Takes first base, two on
Alex rips a hit
Past Izturis, a single
Jeter scores, 2-1.
Teix now at second
Cano drives score truck, singles
Teix charges round third…
American League West 2010 Haiku Forecasts
By Stuart Shea
ANGELS
Rich Latino woos
White fans who usually hire
Latino workmen.
ATHLETICS
Moneyball’s sunset
Means the lineup now includes
Kevin Kouzmanoff.
MARINERS
Hey, Jack Z….that nut
That fell off the hitting tree?
He’s your problem now.
RANGERS
Sweet spring robins’ song
May sound suspiciously like
“Neftali Feliz.”
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Posted 4/20/2010
National League Central 2010 Haiku Forecasts
by Stuart Shea
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CUBS
Whither the Starlin?
For now, he makes a nest out west
In loverly Des Moines.
.
CARDINALS
Blah de blah de blah.
Pujols is going to be dealt.
When hell is frozen.
.
ASTROS
Old, boring players,
Mediocre announcers,
Fans that prefer football.
.
BREWERS
A Wolf is Riske,
But worth two in the Bush. Bring
Hoffman a Coffey.
.
PIRATES
I walk in the park
So pretty, green, bright, and lush.
Ugh! The Bucs play here.
.
REDS
Ardolis Chapman.
Good for 200 wins or shoulder problems,
It’s up to Dusty.
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Posted 3/23/2010
Old “Forgive and Forget” Bradley
By James Finn Garner
.
Because a hitter’s supposed to get hits,
Lou called Miltie a big piece of shit.
With a new gig in Seattle,
Milt’s still fighting old battles,
Showing the world that this shoe still fits.
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Posted 3/10/2010