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500 (Thome, Rodriguez and Thomas)

by James Finn Garner

500
Is such an exquisite digit–
The miles in a Daytona race,
Fortune‘s biggest firms anyplace,
And Fiat’s postwar car-midget.

500
The dingers hit by “Big Hurt” Frank,
Of the sweet stroke and bitter knees,
A-Rod, whipping boy for the Yankees,
And Thome, svelte as a Sherman tank.

500
Their several teams never captured it all.
The sluggers pushed on in good years and bad,
Taking what pleasure there was to be had
In campaigns of .500 ball.

500!
Carved into history like Cy Nostradamus.
As Father Time erodes, hobbles and tames,
That mark will always shine next to these names.
500 cheers for Thome, Rodriguez and Thomas!

Posted 10/16/07 

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On Hunter Pence

By Stu Shea

Hunter Pence is intense

When he climbs the fence

Or knocks a high fastball right out of its stents.

The ‘Stros really stink

But already fans think

That Pence is the way to get out of the drink.

Without Hunter Pence

They’d fold up their tents—

Sans Pence, Houston’s Astros ain’t worth but two cents.

Posted 9/11/2007. 

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Texas Flood

by James Finn Garner

Thirty runs hath the Rangers,
To whom before big games were strangers.

The Orioles ‘pen came out to play
And gave a goose to their ERA.

Saltalamacchia swung his stick
and helped his average 83 clicks.

“Too bad,” the moms of O’s might mewl,
“The bigs don’t have a slaughter rule.”

Posted 8/24/2007

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The Mighty Big Klu

by Caleb Wiley

Big Klu and his guns struck fear
Into opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His biceps were frightening, indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed–
The Mighty Big Klu was he!

Posted 8/21/2007

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L’Arte de la Guerrero

by Stu Shea

Sgt. Vladimir is waiting on the bench
To use his bat to dig a six-inch trench
So he can swing at pitches
He otherwise can’t reach
Using bats, or brooms, or switches
Kicking up both dirt and beach.

Sgt. Vladimir is hacking at the ball
And driving that hard sinker to the wall.
He hit it off his shoe tops
And drove in a pair of runs.
He’s more focused than a Cyclops,
And he’s having much more fun.