by Rickey Henderson
This shit don’t count.
This shit don’t go
on the bubble gum card.
H.O.F. Vote Headscratch
by Fred Lovato
Ichiro made Hall
unanimous but for one
there’s always THAT guy
Rickey Henderson
RIP to the greatest lead-off hitter of all time. (12/25/58-12/20/24)
Rickey came on Christmas Day
Rickey born in a cab that day
Rickey lightning on the field
Rickey is the Man of Steal
Rickey wins with all his teams
Rickey says what Rickey means
Rickey never gonna quit
Rickey too legit to quit
Rickey slowing down? Never!
Rickey gonna run forever.
AL West 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku
by Stuart Shea
Houston Astros
Crass-tros, Disas-stros,
Even Garbage-can-smash-stros—
They’re still really good.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, California
It’s always Disney,
To us, anyway…but now,
No longer Showtime.
Oakland Athletics
Neither here nor there—
Big change only bothers those
Who are not in charge.
Seattle Mariners
Young, strong arms, spring’s joy.
Will Gilbert, Kirby, Miller
Get a “Woo Woo Woo”?
Texas Rangers
Now that we all know
About your autumn harvest,
You’d better watch yourself!
End of Season at the MLB Tavern
by Stephen Jones
I was waiting at the bar for a playoff date
And looked at my watch. It’s getting late.
Then I heard the emphatic bartender,
With his fist pump, mask, and chest protector,
Announce to the lingering, glassy patrons:
“It’s last call. Closing time,” he intones
As he wipes the bar, satisfied with himself,
And begins putting teams on the postseason shelf —
Brands like Atlanta, Los Angeles, Baltimore, Tampa
(and just maybe Seattle, Chicago, or Philadelphia) —
And as he does, he continues to drone:
“It’s hotel-motel time if you can’t go home,
But right now, you can’t stay here —
And hey, better luck when we open next year.”
Pictured is Baseball Bill Holdforth, bartender and rabid DC baseball fan. For the story of how he worked to keep owner Bob Short out of the US Senate, check out this story from washingtonbaseballhistory.com.