Posted on

Autumn’s New Retirees

by James Finn Garner

Before the Fall gets underway,
Let us doff our caps and say
Goodbye to those who’ll junk their cleats,
Leave the park and walk the streets.

Super-versatile Angel Chone
Will now be the utility man at home.
Grant Balfour, hothead Aussie,
Can only fume when his wife gets bossy.

Phil Humber’s vaunted perfect game
Was his sole stat worth noting (such a shame).
The Prince has trouble with his neck–
He’ll inspire no more fear on-deck.

Tex and A-Rod will leave the Yanks
And all their fans will mumble thanks,
While Raf Soriano has called an end
To tell war stories, a fine fireman.

But let’s not forget the other guys,
Young tyros once, with starry eyes,
Who gave their all but somehow missed
The general manager’s call-up list.

They’re just as key to the game as any
Adam LaRoche or Brad Penny.
Talent, drive and dreams they bid,
Just like us when we were kids.

 

Posted on

Ichiro

by Doug Fahrendorff

Only the first name necessary
Japan’s hitting master
3000 hits at age 42
As talented in the field
As at bat
His success
Paved the way
For other Japanese position players
Fans wonder
What he’d have done
Had he reached the Major leagues
Earlier
Few would argue
Ichiro is a truly singular talent
And should be a cinch Hall of Famer

 

Posted on

You’re Gonna Miss Alex Rodriguez

by James Finn Garner

As the end of his playing days appears,
I need to ask: Whither A-Rod?
There’ll be no other player left at his tier
On whose neck you can gleefully trod.

No gaffes to rehash, no mistakes to cheer,
No insinuations on his bod,
No schadenfreude thoughts to slur in your beer
That he’s a bum, a starlet, a fraud.

You won’t see Alex this time next year,
And the absence you’ll feel will be odd
Til you choose someone else, with your conscience so clear,
And condemn him like an Old Testament God.

 

Posted on

Maddon’s Madness

by Hilary Barta

A pitcher’s job is never done.
When out in left they’ve gotta run
And make a catch against the wall.
Don’t tell me baseball ain’t a ball.

And in a pinch they also hit,
And do the perfect squeeze-play bit.
Joe Maddon thinks outside the box,
His tactics hardly orthodox.

 
Cubs’ try-anything manager Joe Maddon has been at it again. On July 31, pitcher Travis Wood hurled the sixth inning in relief, and Maddon kept him in the game as the left fielder, where he made a sensational catch in the seventh, banging against the wall and the ivy in Wrigley Field. In the twelfth, Maddon had pitcher Jon Lester pinch hit, and Lester laid down a perfect squeeze bunt to bring in the winning run.

Posted on

All Hail Ichiro

by James Finn Garner

So many long years ago
Ichiro
Began spraying hits
And if it seems like it’s
Going to go on forever
(I mean, it never
Looks like he ages),
Remember the pages
Of record holders
Left to molder
When a young stud
Both lucky and good
Works to set a new mark
At the ball park.
In time a new hero
Will surpass Ichiro,
And the passage of time
Cruel and sublime
Will lose some of its sting
As we salute a new king.