Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Elvis Andrus’ new tattoo
Made his arm go loop-de-loo.
Th’ inked portrait of his paw
Left his arm and bicep raw.
‘Pon returning from the dead,
Once he’d slapped him up the head,
Emilio, his dad, would say,
“Cut this crap — go out and play!”
In the other City by the Bay
(The less pretentious of the pair),
The miracle of the Oakland A’s
Has vanished in the morning air.
The pennant proved a will o’ the wisp
For those crazy upstart sons of bitches,
From goat-hero-goat Coco Crisp
To Jarrod Parker of the wild pitches.
How thrilling they were to fans and strangers,
Their chartreuse die-hards blowing gaskets.
For knocking out the wheezing Rangers,
Detroit should send a nice fruit basket.
Pennants, they showed, are earned, not bought.
If Oakland’s not your next year’s pick,
I’ll leave you with this food for thought:
Cespedes is but 26.
In baseball’s Wild Card deck,
An ace can be trumped, by heck.
While expected to win,
They wound up in the bin–
Some Rangers might pay with their necks.
The hitter for our era
Triple Crown Miguel Cabrera
Texas falls to wild card
From A’s maulers going yard
Yankees claim at last the East
Atlanta goes to best from least
All the pieces now in place
For the annual October race
But my joy is kept in check
Hearing of Pat Neshek
Whose baby boy Gehrig passed on
Amidst all the celebrations
We cheer as one
But grieve alone
November comes
And we are gone
He shut them down, the Rangers –
a powerhouse lineup of bats –
with split-finger’d sinkers, sliders
& mound presence. He was that:
Seamless with steady outs
pitching quality throughout,
while the Yankee dugout
made it with lineup clout.